Top Ten Ways to Be True to Yourself

When it comes to being true to yourself, learning how to stand up for yourself can make a positive difference.  When you are true to yourself, your life will begin to change in ways you had only imagined before.  Let these tips guide you on your most amazing journey-your life!

1.Set clear boundaries. Decide when and where you need to set better boundaries, physically, mentally and spiritually.  Set limits that protect your space, feelings, time and energy.  By doing so you give yourself permission to have what you want and to ask for it directly because you are worth it.

2. Vent privately first. When the situation has an emotional charge to it, it is important to find a way to diffuse those emotions before you stand up for yourself.  If not, you could risk damaging the relationship altogether.  Writing your feelings in a letter you never send to the person or talking about how you feel with someone you trust are two ways to neutralize the emotion.

3. Start your conversations with “I”. Remember, this is about you, not them.  Be responsible for your needs and let the other person be responsible for theirs.  Once you say how you feel, be sure to say what you need from the other person instead.  Let the other person respond to your request and prepare yourself ahead of time for how you will process their feedback.

4. Get support! Standing up for your self requires courage. Having support from others who love you will offer you strength as you practice standing up for yourself.  As you venture into this new way of being, you will make mistake and be unprepared for how others will react.  A supportive partner can help you prepare and pick you up after your encounter.

5. Let go of blame.  When you realize that you are responsible only for yourself, it makes being true to yourself a necessary part of your life.   It’s easy to sit back and blame others for why your life isn’t working instead of admitting you never really let other know what you needed from them in the first place.

6. Be kind to yourself first. When we stand up for our truth, we are letting the world know we are worth it and we know we are worth it when we stand up for our self!

7. Tell your truth. It may be right, it may be wrong, but it’s yours.  Don’t back down from what you know is true for you, in the now.  Your truth may change in the future, but only the present is real and by expressing your truth now, you allow freedom for continued growth and evolution to occur.

8. Know your values. Knowing your truth is to know your values, what’s important to you and what you stand for and applying them to your work and life.  When you do, you experience the power of true authenticity and so does the world around you.

9. Feel your feelings fully! Feelings are the language of the soul.  By feeling them, we can recognize erroneous beliefs, thoughts and actions that are holding us back from being our truest selves and our full expression of ourselves.  By facing uncomfortable feelings, we also realize they won’t kill us, but instead they tend to dissolve and set us free!

10. Celebrate who you are! Stop caring what others think.  What other people think about you isn’t really about you.  It’s about them.  By celebrating and being who you really are and taking action on living the life you want, you actually do others a huge favor!  You inspire them to celebrate themselves.

Beyond Dieting; A Fresh New Approach

We can’t choose the body we want, rather we have to accept the body we are given. Our bodies are an amazing compilation of traits from all our ancestors. They are unique and allow us to have the physical experience of life. They are the vehicles of our soul. They are connected to our mind and spirit. Our thoughts and emotions can literally make us sick or heal us physically. However, if I asked 10 people if they liked their bodies, what do you think the majority, if not all of them, would say? On the top of most people’s list would be their dissatisfaction with their weight.

Here are a few facts: Our current population is getting heavier even though as many as 40 percent of women and 24 percent of men are trying to lose weight at any given time. Unfortunately, our cultures expectation about body size has led to an unhealthy obsession with weight. The underlying cultural view and the message given by the media is that being thin will make us feel healthier, more beautiful and happier. The media images bombarding us today are unrealistic and seem to lead us on a mission for the “ideal body”. Precious time and energy is being consumed by thinking about, talking about, worrying about, and trying to find the magic cure for fixing our weight. Even so, statistics prove that there is no magic cure. People who go on “diets” typically gain back as much as one-third to two-thirds of the weight within one year and almost all of it within five years.

Our self-worth becomes entwined with these messages. Because of our cultures obsession with thinness, it is increasingly difficult for us to see the beauty and diversity in different sizes and shapes. It is increasingly difficult for us to not judge ourselves and others by how we look rather than who we are. For, our true beauty is reflected in our soul, our passion, in what we do for others, and how we care for ourselves.

Learning to take extremely good care of yourself is a vital part of body, mind, spirit coaching. Taking a non-dieting approach that focuses on self-acceptance, physical activity, and normalized eating frees you from the “diet mentality” to do better, more important things with your time and energy. The non-dieting approach takes the emphasis off calorie counting, counting exchanges, scales, fat gram counting, and the “ideal body.”

Finally keep in mind that change takes time and be patient with yourself. Seek out supportive people and environments and change because you already are a wonderful person—not because you want to become one.

Do You Keep Sabotaging Your Success?

It’s not always easy to see why you may be self-sabotaging your success because it’s not easy to see your true underlying intentions. This comes up often in coaching. While in the coaching process, if things don’t progress naturally or a client seems blocked from taking obvious action toward a goal, there is likely an unseen or unspoken fear-based intention that is conflicting with their conscious intention to follow their authentic desire that is causing them to self- sabotage.

Fear based intention are unconscious beliefs that are usually a result of believing some “lie” about yourself that you have chosen to believe. The “lie” is usually some variation of believing that you are not safe, are not in control or are not loved. For example, if you have a desire to lose weight, but your unconscious belief is that you could lose your husband or your friends (and lose approval/love), or you would become noticeable (no longer safe inside your fat), then the buried belief would keep you from succeeding if the emotion emanating from it is stronger than the feeling of achieving your goal.

People tend to seek consistency in their beliefs and perceptions.  Whether you know it or not, you may be holding on to certain beliefs about yourself as sacred truths about who you are and what you are capable of.  When you have a conflicting desire, you create what is called cognitive dissonance, which is another name for having conflicting intentions. The term cognitive dissonance is used to describe the feeling of discomfort that results from holding two conflicting beliefs.

When there is a discrepancy between unconscious beliefs and desired conscious goals and behaviors, something must change in order to eliminate or reduce the dissonance. If you feel fear or anxiety related to achieving your desired goal, then you know it’s your subconscious mind wrestling with two contradictory truths or beliefs such as “I am a fat person” and “I am healthy and fit and at my best weight.”

But the good news is, the fear and anxiety you are feeling is evidence that you are successfully integrating the new idea into your subconscious mind; and if you persist toward your goal in spite of the fear, you will overcome the old programming. Through coaching and your awareness of the belief connected to the conflicting emotion, you can begin to let go of the unwanted feelings and beliefs and begin replacing those old worn out thought patterns with new, more supportive, constructive or nurturing ones.

How Are You Defining Your Reality?

The truth isn’t that you have poor self-esteem…and dream of being confident, or are a failure…and dream of success, or are unloved…and dream of being loved. The truth is that you are already confident, successful and loved…but you dream that you are not.
— Denise Linn.

I once read about this remote tribe of people called the Huli living in remote areas of Papua, New Guniea. Until recently, they had never been exposed to anyone or anything outside of their immediate area. Many of the things we know about did not exist to them. To them, there were no such things as computers, grocery stores and banks. There were no governments and no stock-market. Electricity, telephones, and roads were not comprehensible. These things truly did not exist in their world!

Yet, you and I know they are real. But the Huli’s reality is just as real to them, as yours is to you. The truth is, we all live in different realities, with different possibilities. So what does this mean to you and your dreams and goals? It means if it’s not in your reality to believe it’s possible to achieve your dreams and goals, it will never be your reality. In fact, there are six billion plus people on this planet and six billion plus realities taking place on earth right now, this very moment. Each one of us lives in a different world and different reality with different lists of rules for what is possible and what isn’t. I live in a completely different reality than you do. You make your rules and I make mine. You live by what you think is possible in your world and I live by what I think is possible in mine. And each of you have created the rules that define your reality, or you have adopted the rules of others.

And here is the key… You have the power to completely create new rules that re-define your reality. If something is not working for you, you have adopted rules that are not serving you. You have beliefs about what is possible and what is not possible that do not line up with your desires. But you can change these rules and you can do it instantly. What is impossible in your reality today can be possible tomorrow if you desire it to be.

This explains why some people have no problems, challenges or issues with their health, or their relationships or their prosperity, while others struggle in one or more of these areas. It is because your reality is a reflection of the way you see yourself inside. If you TRULY believe you are already healthy, wealthy and loved (which you are), then you will automatically do the things that healthy, wealthy, and loved people do! And, this will automatically attract other healthy, wealthy, happy, successful people into your life, expanding your beliefs and possibilities even further.

Most people try to “get healthy, happy, loved, rich” before they start to act healthy, happy, loved or rich, but It doesn’t work that way. The belief has to come first, which leads to correct actions, which brings the desired results.

You can’t fake belief. You can try, but you can’t. Belief in what you’re capable of happens by constantly creating, and re-creating the rules by which this world operates for you based on new experiences and new understanding. You need to continually expand your universe by accepting new rules of possibility discovered through reading, listening, and learning about the realities of others who have already created what you seek. When you see that someone else has created the reality that you want and you hear the story of how they made it happen, these are powerful worlds to learn from because they open up new rules, and new beliefs inside of you.

When you expose yourself to these people’s worlds, and open yourself up to new possibilities and be willing to adopt the rules they live by, your rules will change. Things which were once impossible for you will suddenly become possible. Idea’s you’ve never had will begin to flood your mind. The outside world you live in will slowly begin to change as you place new rules upon it. When your level of belief about a new rule you set for yourself becomes stronger than your current belief, then your world will change and you will have what you seek. Belief comes first, results come second. Define your new reality. Live it. Sleep it. Dream it. And your life will become it.

Three Tips for Effortless Manifesting

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Effortless manifesting is simply that.  It’s not about trying, making it hard, or getting frustrated because what you want is not showing up.  It’s about ease and allowing what you want to flow to you.  It’s about trust and faith … Continue reading →

Move Your Body to Improve Your Chi

I just got back from yoga and I feel amazing as usual.  I don’t know why I am always pleasantly surprised by how these movements and poses, so simple, yet challenging, can change my whole outlook on life, but I am.  My energy just feels different and I feel completely recharged.  I have always been active, incorporating exercise as a part of my lifestyle for nearly 30 years now.  When I was younger it started out to be something I did to do to stay in shape, and as I got older, I appreciated the health benefits of regular exercise.  I have always recognized how the quality of my life is better from regular, consistent exercise.  But there was something more I now understand, that has even greater significance.  Regular movement not only helps me to stay healthy and fit, but it changes my resonance, my chi when I do.  I find that I project a more peaceful, happy energy and outlook throughout the day!

It is called mechanical resonance and it is what happens when you move your body.  Movement is a significant source of personal energy and results in a more beautiful and peaceful energy or Chi quality.

How you move and how much you move matters.   If you don’t get enough movement, the energy from past emotional experiences is likely to stay stuck in your body and energy field. This energy pools around you and becomes heavy, and you not only feel lethargic, but this thick energy makes it harder to receive and harder for the Universe to respond to you.  On the other hand,  if you stop and start over and over and move in an agitated or urgent manner, the energy signals you are sending out are very fragmented and your energy is more abrasive, which will naturally attract more of the same in the people and situations you encounter in your life.

The goal is to exercise consistently in a relaxed, conscious and joyful manner.  Smile and breathe.  When you breathe deeply, get regular and varied types of exercise, and move in a comfortable manner for you, this will initiate a chi or life force energy that resonates in pure, peaceful and attractive vibrations!

A good way to add to the energy and the experience is make a conscious intention to clear out any old, negative energy or emotions as you do your activity, whether it’s going for a walk or just stretching.  Affirm that you’re cleansing your energy with each inhale and exhale.

Also, paying attention to your posture is important.  Good posture projects confidence and opens up your heart center, allowing you to connect with the Universe and everyone in it.  Be joyful in your activity! Move your body because you love yourself, not because societal messages want you to believe you are not good enough and you need to change how you look.  Move for your health and fitness, yes, but also to change your vibration.   Your body will respond to this new, improved energy and as it does, you will open yourself to a new vibrant sense of self as you begin to let go of the old energy and just relax into being fully you.  When you do, you will never look at exercise the same way again.  It is no longer something you have to do in order for others to approve of you or even you of yourself.  It becomes something you look forward to for the energy it creates in and around you and the feeling of being at peace with yourself and the world.

7 Communication Tips for Healthy Relationships

Healthy relationships are so vital to living your best life. As a Life Coach, they often naturally integrate themselves into whatever life changes my client is working on.  If you are not happy with your relationships, it’s not the other person you need to change -there’s no place for blame in a healthy relationship-it’s you.  Once a client has accepted this, the real work can begin. Taking a holistic approach, here are 7 tips for healthy relationships that I’ve found helpful for myself and my clients.

1. Be Generous With Your Appreciation.

How often do you feel or give appreciation? How important is appreciation? Studies show that appreciation of others and of yourself is strongly correlated with happiness and health. I know of people who have quit their jobs for not feeling appreciated for their contributions in the workplace. I’ve also seen the opposite. When people are acknowledged for their efforts, they feel better about giving and often go beyond the call of duty. Experiment with this and experience the magic for yourself. Appreciation changes people. In families, appreciation can minimize or prevent problems. Start appreciating those you care about for all those things you take for granted, like “Thanks for being out there earning a living so we can pay our bills each month”, “ Thanks for the juggling you do every day to take care of our family”, “ Thank you for being a wonderful kid”, “ Thank you for cleaning up your room”, “ Thank you for bringing up this issue that we need to deal with”, “ Thanks for the great meals you make for us”, you get the idea. Make it a habit. Get the whole family involved. It may feel awkward at first, but after awhile the energy in your home will change, and problems will begin to disappear.

It works just as well in the workplace. “Good job when…”, “It made me smile when…”, “I know you’ve been working really hard lately and…”, then watch company moral skyrocket! If you want something from another, you must give it away first. If you want more appreciation in your life, start giving it out first and watch your wish come true!

2. State Your Intention or The Purpose Behind the Communication.

According to Dr. Rick Brinkman, a lifestyle management guru and author of “Life By Design”, whenever we communicate there is always a purpose behind that communication. A very effective way to communicate is to let people know your purpose or your (positive) intention first to avoid misunderstanding. Without the desired intention, defenses easily go up. People often need to know where we are coming from before they can really let go and listen. For example, you might say, “I love you and I really need to clear the air about what happened the other night”. This states the intention first and has a loving, positive tone. Consider the difference if the person had said, “I feel frustrated about what happened the other night and I think we need to talk about it”. The intention is unclear and immediately causes the other person to put up a protective wall!  Always state your intention first.

3. Assume a Positive Intention in Others.

Always assume the best intention in others. People will literally fall all over themselves to fulfill your positive expectations of them. There have been studies that prove when students work with teachers who believe in them to excel, they do. The expectations of the teachers get projected on to the students and in such cases, the students IQ is tested higher than normal for that student. This is the power of your projections! If we want to bring out the very best in your spouse, clients, employees and kids, you can start by just assuming the best and projecting positive expectations.

Sometimes another’s intention is good, but their actions are not welcome. For example, your husband decides to surprise you and rearrange the furniture. His intentions were good, but you hated what he did. If you just said, “You shouldn’t have done this, you need to move everything back the way it was”-do you think he would take the initiative to do something “nice” for you again? Probably not!  But, if you said, “Thank you honey for caring about the way our home looks, it was really great of you make this effort for me. But, what you didn’t know is I really don’t like it this way, can we try something different?” With this response he will not be afraid to try to please you another time.

4. Seek First to Understand.

An argument is two people wanting to be understood when neither one wants to understand. How to resolve an argument? Let the other person feel understood first. When they feel understood, they will then be able to give their full attention to you. Listening is the key to understanding. Let them know you are listening by giving specific feedback so the other person knows they are being heard and understood. The best way to do this is to simply take their words and give it back to them. This is a special technique used by counselors and coaches. Their words are special to them; it doesn’t work as well to try to use your own language. You can also ask questions for clarity if you need to. Listening and caring provides the feeling the other person is looking for. The final step is to confirm the other person feels understood by saying something like, “Do I understand this correctly?” Then it’s your turn to talk.

5. Enjoy Differences.

Recognize it is wonderful to have differences, and then to respect them. Each individual processes feelings differently according to their own life experience. If you are sensitive to this you can discover the best way to support the other person and get both of your needs met. A really useful question to ask when someone close to you starts a statement with “You don’t…”, is “How would you know if I…?”, For example, ” How would you know if I supported you?”, or “How would you know if I cared for you?” Their answers might surprise you and not be what you expected! Keep in mind; the people close to you often have their own criteria for getting their desires fulfilled based on their own model of the world! And it may not be the same as yours, so you need to ask. For example, one person’s criteria for a romantic evening may be very different than their partners! The intent may be the same (wanting intimate time together), but how to fulfill that intent is often not. Again, asking questions helps a lot! Ask, “What does a romantic evening look like for you?”, and then you may need to find a compromise.

6. Notice the Energy of Your Intention.

According to the bestseller “A Return to Love” by Marianne Williamson, when we come from a place of love and acceptance, and truly accept people as they are, this has the miraculous effect of helping them be better people. When we are always telling people what’s wrong with them, we don’t help them, instead, we paralyze them with shame and guilt. When we accept others unconditionally, we help them to feel good about themselves, to relax, and to find their way. This doesn’t mean we can’t share constructive criticism, but again, and energy of positive intent is important. It is the energy, good or bad, that is carried in our communication. The miracle is the authentic intention to communicate with love not fear. According to the book, “The key to communication is not what we say, but rather the attitude that lies behind what we say”.

7. Create a Relationship Agreement.

The following relationship tool can help with maintaining healthy relationships. It is called a relationship agreement. Sit down with your spouse, your son/daughter, or your business partner and come up with some agreements about how to communicate with each other. Then when things start to go amuck, (and when our feelings turn into emotional reactions, they easily do!), you can get the agreement out and say “Remember how we agreed to communicate?”

Examples of mutual relationship agreements might include:

* To have weekly meetings.

* To communicate without blame.

* To communicate only from love-not fear.

* To take turns with who gets to start when settling an argument

* To create and have a plan for how to exit an argument so you can come back to it after you’ve gained some perspective.

* To always state the positive intent first.

Every two people who come together bring uniqueness to that relationship, so each particular relationship agreement will be unique as well.

Relationships are such a big part of your personal Body, Mind, Spirit landscape and affect every part of your being, so if you’ve been struggling, do your part and watch the transformations begin!

Choosing a Journey of Consciousness

Every day you have a choice.  Imagine your life as a journey, day by day, you are traveling toward a destination which represents your dreams and goals.  Your destination is your desired future.  Imagine also that your thoughts, feelings and behaviors are your map, your guide to your destination of choice.  How you choose to think, feel and behave creates your journey and ultimately your destination.  If you choose to travel unconsciously, without any real awareness of where you want to go or end up, you will keep getting lost, taking detours that lead to undesirable locations, and finding that, over time, you never arrive at the place in your life you really want to be or worse, never enjoy the journey.

But, when you take conscious control of the “wheel” of your life and become fully aware of your patterns of reaction, you can begin to feel certain that you will arrive at your desired outcome while fully enjoying the trip!

This will require practicing full awareness of your mental and emotional responses to life.  When a boulder gets thrown in your path, instead of retreating, complaining, giving up, or just sitting there feeling sorry for yourself, you can make a more enlightened choice to find a new way, via higher thoughts, feelings and behaviors.

To become more aware of your thoughts, you must first be open to examining your feelings and emotions.  When you notice along the way that challenges do come up, and some of those challenges will produce an uncomfortable or negative feeling, you’ll find the source of those feelings and behaviors is directly connected to what you are thinking.  When you find your journey is being fueled with unwanted feelings and behaviors, and discover the thoughts behind them, consider the positive thought options available to you and ask yourself: “Why not take the positive route instead?”

If you find yourself continuously choosing a route that takes you further away from your goals and dreams, in other words, making choices that dishonor or disempower you, decide that you can consciously make the choice to release those habits and make a choice to change your thoughts.

The road to your destination will never be perfect.  You may miss your turn, run into a roadblock or encounter bad weather, but that is part of the adventure! By “course-correcting” your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, one day at a time, you will consciously reach your destination and have a whole lot of fun along the way! The choice is yours.

Beware of the “Aint it Awfuls”!

Our ego’s are tricky little devils.  One thing our ego does is get us to feel sorry for ourselves when things aren’t going the way we want them to.  It does this by reminding us of those buried feelings of unworthiness hiding out in the inner recesses of our minds.

You could be going along just fine, feeling good, and everything seems to be going great.  Heck, you are doing all the right things!  Visualizing, journaling, writing out all the things you are grateful for, and staying in the moment.  Then somewhere along the way, WHAM!, something triggers that painful feeling of unworthiness.  Maybe you made a mistake, or someone cuts you down, or you fail at something you’ve been working on (or its just not happening fast enough!), or you didn’t get the job or the sale or the raise you really, really wanted.

Yep, this is prime fertilizer for the ego mind.  All of a sudden, you cannot remember any of that feel good stuff you’ve been working on because you have just gone into the “downward spiral” of despair, anger, or sadness.  It’s at this point when we start thinking, “Poor me, I guess I just don’t have what it takes” or “There must be something wrong with me” or “I’m just not good enough”.  The other thing we might do is go into the “Aint it awful’s.”  You know what I mean.  The “Aint it awful I have to do this, when I really want to be doing that?”, “Aint it awful I can’t have the car (job, relationship, income, happiness…) I desire?”, “Aint it awful this is all taking so long!?”

Whoa!!!! The minute you notice yourself going down this all too familiar path, is the moment to change that negative momentum.  I KNOW it’s not easy.  We are sooo practiced at our reactions to our particular pain triggers.  They have served us so well in soothing our bruised ego’s in the past that we have become conditioned to automatically go there!  The problem is that when we are in “Aint it awful” or “Feeling Sorry” mode we are creating from that mode.   We are creating more “Aint it awful” and “Feeling Sorry” circumstance to come into our lives.  These feelings do not serve us- they defeat us.

Here are a few “Be Certain of Success” tricks to help you get back into the flow of feeling good.

1. Take one of your “Aint it awfuls” and make a gratitude list about it.  For example, if you are not where you want to be financially, make a list of how grateful you are for what you DO have!  (If you have a car, a computer and a T.V. set, you are in the top 10% of the worlds economic status!)  Your list might include: Your current steady paycheck (at least you have one!), your home, never going without food, a warm bed to sleep in, a loving dog, a beautiful park to walk through nearby, etc…
2. Remember that any feelings of unworthiness are beliefs given to you by someone else-they do not belong to you.  Someone else decided a long time ago that you were unworthy based on his or her own insecurities.  You just chose to believe it because you did not know any different.  But now you do!  You are a child of GOD-you are made of the same energy!  How can you possibly be unworthy?
3. Try the Emotional Freedom Technique otherwise called “tapping”.  It helps release negative emotions that are trapped in your body.  Go to http://www.tapping.com for more information.
4. There are many other energy clearing techniques to help you let go of unwanted energy including Reiki, Qi Gong, Chakra Balancing and Breath work.  You might experiment and find the one(s) that work best for you.

Finally, don’t wait!!! This is the most important of all!!  The Universe (God, Source) wants you to have what you want for yourself!  It wants you to have abundance, love, happiness and joy.  It wants you to have that new job, that successful career, or that great new relationship.  But, it can’t give it to you if you are feeling sorry for yourself or don’t feel you deserve it! The energy just doesn’t line up!  If we are waiting for that new job, new body, or new partner in order to finally be happy, then we will never receive it.  We must BE the happiness we desire RIGHT NOW in order to provide the opening for our good to flow to us.  So be the happiness, love, joy and abundance now!

Creating Balance From the Inside Out

When I was younger, my mother and other adults used to say “The older you get, the faster your life will go”, and my younger self would think, “Maybe for some people, but not for me.” But, as much as I thought I would be immune from this happening, they were right, life is moving faster and faster the older I get. As an adult and as a life coach, I often hear the exclamation “I just want to slow my life down so I can figure out what I really want and maybe smell the roses a bit more along the way.”

As we get older, we tend to get caught up in all our “grown up” responsibilities. Kids, career, significant other, friends, housework, holidays, taking care of the yard, volunteer work, meetings, appointments, changing the oil on the car, etc… All leaving us so tapped that it’s hard to imagine fitting in any time for ourselves. Or when we do, we’re too tired and settle for vegging out in front of the TV. Before we know it, another year has passed and we never got around to living that great life we are always hoping for.

Then we hear about this thing called life balance and wonder if that could be the ticket out of this chaotic life and into a life that more resembles our own deepest desires, hopes and dreams from years ago.

When thinking about this topic, I realized that many of my clients come to me to create more balance in their lives, or with issues that are symptoms of an unbalanced life, like job dissatisfaction, time management, stress reduction, lack of motivation, no time for self, a search for meaning, etc…

I have found through research and discovery that there are essentially two ways to approach having a balanced life. We can choose to approach life balance from the outside in or from the inside out. The first approach is to drive yourself even crazier by trying to achieve an elusive, mythical, and societal ideal of balance. You might recognize this one. It’s the approach where you take a certain amount of time each day or week and allot it to each area of life (e.g., work =8 hours, exercise= 0.45 hours, family=2.6 hours, etc…). This works for a day or two until something unexpected comes up and takes you completely out of your routine and back to feeling out of balance. It’s the approach where we really believe the influences of the media and our culture that we can do it all-work, home, family and get enough sleep! This approach is also the one where our culture demands that women be both professional high achievers and traditional June Cleaver moms/wives and makes you feel as if at any moment, if we do something wrong, we are judged as inadequate and once again a complete failure in either department.

Wow, it makes you despise the words life balance doesn’t it? This approach is surprisingly touted by many well-meaning self-help professionals. It is an approach based on “shoulds” (things you think you ought to want), judgment (from self and others), and ignores the fact that the achievement of a whole picture perfect life is entirely unrealistic.

The second, more sane approach to life balance, is to not let ourselves be influenced by cultural ideals and social pressures, to stop comparing ourselves to others with unequal situations, and to recognize that balance is not static, but dynamic and constantly in motion, like our lives. That it’s a process, not an accomplishment, and it requires some flexibility!

When I was young, I had a unicycle. In order to balance in one spot I had to make continual adjustments and compensations to keep from falling over. Balance in our lives is the same way. Sometimes we need to devote a lot of attention to one area of our life (a sick family member, a special project at work, a vacation), and sometimes we need to pull back, re-direct our attention or make a different decision before we fall over. When I would lose my balance, did that mean I couldn’t get back on and resume balancing? Of course not. Life is like this. We just keep adjusting, redirecting and making better decisions. If we don’t-we fall and crash, and then we are forced to make a change.

We can’t judge how balanced our lives are by looking at one day, or even one week. We have to keep the big picture in mind and seek balance from within. On the whole, are you achieving what you want in each area of your life? If not, what kind of adjustments are you willing to make? What expectations are you trying to fulfill that are not your own? Ask yourself, “What is the best use of my time today?”, and decide to go for a walk instead of watching another reality show on TV.

Balance is not cookie cutter in any way. What is a balanced life for one person might be completely unacceptable to another. When we find balance on our own terms, from within, we replace conformity with honesty, judgment with kindness, turn “shoulds” into wants, and create a joyful, unconventional kind of balance that is perfect for us

Life Balance Tools and more at the Be Certain Of Success membership program for women.

The Endless Gift of Service

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Your unconditional gift of time, assistance, things, thoughts, money, love and life projects a loving energy far beyond what the recipient receives. The loving energy it projects expands into Universal consciousness and stimulates the energy field that exists all around … Continue reading →

Body-Mind Spirit Tips: 8 Ways to Blow the Holidays For Yourself and Others…or Not!

1.Don’t plan for those special holiday traditions –they just want to compete with your valuable time to finish up work at the office, spend time networking on Facebook, or watching realty TV. The importance of those special times together with your family and the memories they would have created will certainly fade from everyone’s mind soon enough-along with the true meaning of the holiday.

Or

Make a list of all your family holiday traditions, from cookie baking to Christmas caroling to going to  candle light service at your church. Keep only the ones you absolutely love. Schedule them in your calendar and let go of the rest-guilt free. Enjoy the special moments that create long lasting memories. They only come around once a year and you’ll never get them back

2. Be sure to shop on the weekends so you can experience all the stress and tension of standing in long lines and of course, wait until the week before to make your selections or ship your packages. Hopefully, your Aunt Tilda will love that polka dot sweater you grabbed off the rack since it was the best of the worst left in the store! Then, rack up the credit card because you forgot to budget for all those last minute purchases!

Or

Take one vacation day early in the month, preferably a weekday, to “power shop” without fighting crowds or dealing with last minute pressure. If it’s too late for this year, vow you will get a head start for next year and starting in January, start putting aside funds and/or gifts for next Christmas.

3. “Save up” calories by not eating all day before your holiday meal or party. That way you can eat twice as much when the meal or food finally comes around (and you will!), but, what the heck-feeling stuffed and miserable is just a part of the holiday season, right?.

Or

Eat breakfast, a light, nutritious lunch, and when the big dinner or party comes around you’ll feel more in control of your appetite. A light snack just before, such as some soup, fruit or yogurt, works great as well. Don’t use the holidays as an excuse to overeat!

4. Deny yourself all the special holiday treats that come along this time of year, even though by doing so that’s all you can think about! Forget that whenever you’ve tried this in the past you ended up bingeing on them anyway. That way when it happens you’ll have an excuse-you forgot!

Or

Remember that special foods are a natural part of holiday celebrations and denial will often trigger bingeing. Moderation is the key. Enjoy smaller portions of some of the “special” holiday foods you enjoy. If you’re eating healthy most of the time-and getting in some regular weekly activity-you’re fine.

5. Don’t exercise at all during the holidays. Besides, you have too much to do and it’s just not a priority. Instead, let the stress that builds up as a result give you the energy to keep you going. Besides-there’s always that New Year’s resolution you make every year to make fitness a part of your lifestyle-and you’ll really mean it this time!

Or

Give yourself the best gift of all during the holidays-exercise. A 20-30 minute walk, three days a week; skating or sledding with the kids; a romp in the snow; snowball fights, using that fitness club membership you paid big bucks for, long walks with friends or family are all good choices. Just get active any way you can and in ways you enjoy. Exercise is the single best way to maintain your weight and relieve stress during the holidays!

6. Be sure to overeat, over drink, over party, then tell yourself what a fool you are, that you’ll never change, and you might as well give up on yourself.

Or

Forgive yourself. You made a mistake. You overate, you over drank, and you over partied. Learn from it, resolve to do better next time, move on and trust yourself to make the necessary adjustments so it won’t happen again. You are still a good person!

7. Stay up late watching TV, and don’t turn down any invitations-especially two late night parties in a row. You’ll catch up sometime after the holidays. In the mean time your family and friends will just have to put up with your crankiness.

Or

Get enough sleep. When you are tired and cranky-guess what? You are less likely to make good choices and less able to deal with stress. Plus, you put undue strain on everyone around you.

8. Drink alcohol and throw caution to the wind-it’s a party! You’ll drive carefully. Besides, alcohol doesn’t affect YOU like it does everyone else.

Or

Set a limit on your alcohol consumption if you’re driving or skip the alcohol. If you do end up having a few cocktails at a party – Take note of these two things: 1. Alcohol lowers your resolve to treat yourself in a healthy manner. If you stay aware of this, you’ll do better, and 2. Just in case, pre-plan to have a designated driver or tell a friend to call a cab for you if need be.

8. Don’t think of anyone who may be having a hard time this Christmas.  That might make you feel guilty and take away your own joy. Besides, those people don’t need your help. They’ll get enough help from other people.  Anyway, it’s hard enough providing for those expensive wishes from your own family, you don’t have money to spare for those less fortunate!

Or

Find a way to give, there are so many this time of year! Our YMCA alone is a drop off point for giving clothes and blankets to homeless veterans, giving to toys for Toys for Tots and Food for the local Food Shelter.  You will be amazed at how good it feels to give-and how it adds to your Christmas joy! And what a powerful lesson for your family!

Finally, think positive and choose an affirmation that supports your efforts such as “I am choosing to take good care of myself and others this holiday season!” The choice is truly your own!

Wishing you happy, healthy, stress-free holiday!
Dr. Deb

Every Moment is An Opportunity to Create a Brighter Future!

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When you spend your time thinking about or re-living the past, or worrying about the future, you lose the valuable moment of NOW forever.  The moment of NOW is your window of opportunity for shaping a better future and creating … Continue reading →

True Deserving

Here is a truth that I wish to implant in the minds of all children and adults everywhere.  Your value is not based on anything outside of yourself and you worth is not based on conditions.  You were born worthy and anything you believe otherwise is based on other peoples drama’s and opinions and has nothing to do with you (except if you believe it does).

When you don’t believe you are worthy of health, wealth, love and joy, then your desires in life will be driven by fear and lack; and your ability to receive will be conditional at best.

Embrace your eternal worthiness, and feel it in the heart of your soul.  In your joy of knowing this is true, you will begin to create miracles in your life. Anything other than worthiness is not your truth.  You do not have to do or be something in order to be worthy.  Self-rejection comes from false beliefs about yourself.  Unite with the true source of your deserving, your Divine heritage, and open yourself up to the joy, success, love and fulfillment that you deserve!

Always affirm to yourself what you true identity deserves-respect, love, happiness and all the abundance the Universe has to offer! Next time you look at yourself in the mirror, claim your birthright and really see yourself, your value and your worthiness!

The Practice and Art of Surrender

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The sooner you understand the art of surrendering your attachment to a desired outcome, the quicker you will manifest what you desire.  You live in a Universe that is governed by laws of mind and Spirit and once you understand … Continue reading →

What’s Your Story?

The journey called “Life” can be quite interesting at times as you strive to be the person you were meant to be and live the life you were meant to live.  Many of you are beginning to notice yourselves more and are wondering why the heck you still behave the way you do and can’t stop thinking the way you always have, even now, when you feel you should know better!

As you become more and more aware of yourself and the recognition of your personal responsibility in what you are creating for your life, you can also begin to uncover the stories you have created along the way that may be keeping you stuck in an undesirable situation and apart from living your best life.

This is not an easy task.  Your stories were a very important part of your survival—you needed your stories to cope.  Your stories were brilliant adaptations to protect you from your fears.   If you are lacking in any way today, whether it be money, love, or health, you can most likely attribute it to “Your Story” or what you have chosen to believe about yourself in relation to those things up to this point.  Your stories are your perception of what you are capable of or deserve and are deeply held beliefs, and some of those beliefs may be keeping you from the abundance, love and peace you desire and deserve.

For example, if your situation is that you are feeling stressed and overwhelmed with all the things you have to do each day and don’t seem to have enough time or energy to “do it all”-there is probably a story (or belief about yourself) keeping you stuck in that life scenario.   How do we uncover that story?  Here’s a hint:  You can discover it in what you say about it to others.  You might hear yourself say, “If I don’t do it myself, it won’t get done right and I’ll just have to do it over anyway”.  Do you hear this persons “story”?

Another example might be someone who is in business for him or herself and is struggling making sales and/or making ends meets.  This person might be overheard saying something like “Its tough to keep a business going in today’s economy”, or “I just hate it when people try to sell me something-it turns me off”.  By paying attention to your language, you can become more aware of your stories.

If changing your stories seems like a daunting task, it is because they can be hard to let go of.  This is true for the reason that they served a certain purpose in your life.  Even though they created negativity and suffering, they justified your place in the world.  They satisfied your ego’s need to be recognized, even if it was to get sympathy or attention from others.

I love Alberto Villoldo’s  book “Courageous Dreaming”.  He talks about letting go of stories in which you are either a victim, bully or rescuer that keep you in a life of suffering and shares of how you can choose to turn yourself into hero’s instead.   This is very similar to the chapter in Eckart Tolles book “A New Earth” that talks about the roles of victim, villain and lover your ego adopts to seek acceptance.  Letting go of these roles allows us to function from a deeper core of your being which is in itself a journey to be relished.

You can choose a new story and a new path, and by doing so bring more joy and passion to your journey—this incredible, amazing journey of life in a Universe that believes whatever story you want to create about it!

Happy Storytelling!

The Meaning of Your Circumstances

The Universe is a neutral partner in your life.  The Universe does not assign a good or bad meaning to anything-you do it all by yourself.  This is really great news!  This means that whatever your life circumstances are, and whether you like them or not, are dependent upon the meaning you have given them.  So, this also means your life and your story are changeable.  Since you give everything in your world its meaning, and therefore, create your results accordingly, if you don’t like the results, you can simply assign a different meaning to what’s going on.

This requires doing some work to become consciously aware of your good/bad interpretations.  For example, if you lose your job, the meaning you assign to that situation will either help you or hinder you in moving forward.  If you assign the meaning that it’s a good thing because now you can pursue the business or career you really want, then you will take action and move forward in a positive manner.  But, if you decide it’s a terrible turn of events and it just proves what a loser you are and there are no good jobs out there and so on, that is the results you will certainly get.  The Universe doesn’t care either way what you decide, it will support whatever meaning you give to a situation.

So, it’s up to you to become consciously aware of your interpretations of why your life is the way it is.  Your interpretations come from a variety of sources including your family, your culture, and the media and you adopted most of them before you new any better.  If you are willing to look at your unwanted circumstances and understand the unconscious meanings you had previously assigned to that area of your life, then you can begin to choose new, more empowering meanings starting right now.

If you are not experiencing happiness, inner peace and success with your life circumstances, then I suggest you take a look at the meanings you have assigned to them.  When you have decided that something is bad, remember the words of Hamlet “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so”

Let’s Celebrate!

I just received my second coaching certification and am now an Inspired Spirit Coach!  To celebrate, until January 1st, 2011, I am offering a free 20 minute personal coaching session to help you jump start the New Year!!

Question: Do you really know how brilliant you are?

What would you be able to accomplish if someone could hone in on what’s blocking you from achieving the things that are most important to you?

What if that same someone could share some tools and techniques that would improve your life substantially?

What if you had access to that one person NOW?

Well, you do.  Me.

I happen to be fantastic and identifying people’s blocks and helping them bust through them!

Look, we all tend to get blocked at some point.  We hit a ceiling in our ability to create more income, more love, better relationships or a better body.  It happens to the BEST of us!  Truly, it does.

Whatever it is that you’ve been struggling with – outside perspective can shift EVERYTHING for the better.

Let me give you some perspective – as my gift to you.

I’m clearing my schedule just for you – so please take advantage of this NOW because my schedule fills up quickly and I want to help you take that next leap forward.

You can set up a 20 minute complimentary session with me in one of two ways:

Through my online scheduler –
https://my.timedriver.com/KB5Q2

Or, call my direct line and you’ll get me personally and we’ll set up a time that works for us – 941-445-4100. (You might get my voice mail if I’m on the phone with someone else – please leave a message and I will personally reconnect with you!)

Let’s tap into your brilliance!!  I KNOW it’s there waiting to bust out!!

Best of everything to you,

Dr. Deb

Eco-Responsibility

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Living a happy, joyful, abundant life is very much dependent on the care of our planet. I often talk about the importance of taking full responsibility for your life experiences today, since they are based on the choices you made … Continue reading →

Stepping Into The Movie of Your Ideal Life

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When I talk to groups about the Law of Attraction, I talk about creating the vision of what you desire by seeing yourself living it on a movie screen.  You are looking up at the screen and seeing your life … Continue reading →

Practice Small, Then Move UP!

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It’s so much easier to manifest the smaller things that don’t really matter as much to us than the bigger things that we really want or need.  Why? Because there is a level of detachment to the less important “It … Continue reading →

Are You On The Right Path?

Have you ever wondered if you were going in the right direction in your life?  You know what you want (a relationship, a job, more money, to lose weight), you believe you can have it, but it seems to be taking a long time to show up. You may be feeling stuck.  You may even wonder if you are on the right path to your goal. You may be thinking its time to consider a plan B, in case Plan A doesn’t work out.  You really want plan A, but maybe you will need to settle for Plan B.

I was feeling this way yesterday and while I was out for a walk, I decided to ask for a sign that I was on the right path, that my desired good was on the way and that I was being supported.  I first thought I’d ask to see an orange car, but remembered I’d seen an orange car in Venice and that would not seem too unusual. So, I thought about asking to see a monarch butterfly, because they are a special symbol for me, but thought, no, they are too common. So finally I settled on a pink car.  I thought, “Show me a pink car by Monday and I’ll know I’m on the right path and being supported.”

Interestingly, right then, an orange car drove by-not the usual one I’ve seen before-a completely different make and model. Hmmm.  A few minutes later a monarch butterfly fluttered into view and followed me for about a block. I realized then the Universe wanted to be sure I really got this message and was going to show me all 3 things I had asked for!  I was wondering when the pink car would show up.

I went about my day, then my husband, Steve and I went to the movie “Eat, Pray, Love” in the afternoon.  I was sitting in the theater, watching the advertisements before the movie-and yup, a pink car in a commercial for car insurance bigger than life right there on the screen before me!   Coincidence? I don’t think so.

Try this for yourself sometime when you are feeling all alone in your quest for creating a positive change in your life.  Ask for a sign that you are on the right path, being supported or that your good is on its way.  You may find yourself joyfully receiving a confirmation in ways you never expected!

Helping Families in New Orleans

It’s not often someone lays an organized plan in front of you for helping others in a big way.  When the personal development company I work with, AVANT, offered an opportunity to help families living in the Lower 9^th Ward who are still struggling from hurricane Katrina and now the BP oil spill, I could not resist the urge I had that this was truly my chance to physically do something about it.  Working closely with an organization called Family to Family, the plan involved creating a vegetable garden, building a food pantry and then stocking it at the All Souls Episcopal Church in the heart of the lower 9th.

In checking out the driving directions, I found it to be a fairly simple 11 hour route from Venice to New Orleans, but really did not want to take the trip alone.  So I started mentioning it to a few friends hoping someone would jump on board.  Well, it happened very quickly! Just a few days later, I talked to my friend Julie Hunt about the opportunity and she was immediately excited about the possibility!  But first she had to ask for some time off as the Cardiac Nurse at the Venice YMCA. Luckily for us, the Y was very supportive and agreed to sponsor Julie’s trip as a representative of the South County Family YMCA. It was also finals week at the State College of Florida where Julie attends classes.  She had to petition her Professor, Gladys Green, for permission to take the final exam before she left.  Amazingly enough, all of the pieces of the puzzle went together, and it was a go!

We started out Monday afternoon and stopped for lunch in Gautier, Mississippi at a place called Huck’s Cove.  It was apparent it had been a popular destination at one time, but, according to our server, 75% of their business had dropped off since the oil spill, as she gestured to the large outdoor dining area where we were just one of two tables being served.  We could smell the oil and could see the oil absorbing booms from where we were seated.  This was just one of many businesses depending on tourist activity affected by the oil spill.

We arrived in New Orleans on Tuesday evening, met with the other 11 volunteers from the AVANT and made plans to meet up at 8:30 the following morning.  Wednesday morning we caravanned over to the church.  It was very clear to us precisely when we entered the 9^th Ward.  The devastation was immense.  A few homes had recovered or were still in the process, but many were boarded up and condemned and remained as they were left after Katrina.

When we arrived at the church, which is actually an old Walgreens converted to a church, there was a group of kids attending summer camp in the lobby area.  When they saw us coming, they were so excited they were literally climbing all over us!  One of the young women with our group, Kiki, had two kids in her arms within minutes!  It was a beautiful scene!

But we were not there to play, so we went outside to check out the raised garden beds put in by some Eagle Scouts a several months earlier.  Needless to say, they needed some attention!  So we “dug in” immediately and started pulling weeds and amending the soil.  Many hands make fast work and when we stood back about 3 hours later, it was an amazing transformation!  We were ready to plant!  Perfect timing too, because the kids were back from swimming and helped us with the planting and watering!  Our hope was that by allowing them to help, they would take some ownership, pride and interest in the gardens.  We planted summertime vegetables and herbs for now, such as squash, peppers, cucumbers, onions, tomatoes, basil and cilantro and left them with seeds to plant a fall garden when the time was right.  The goal by providing the gardens is sustainability-helping them to help themselves by growing their own food-trading care of the gardens for food on their tables.

While some of us were busy outside, the rest of the group was inside finishing up the framing and sheet rocking for the food pantry.  What was interesting was how there were people in our group who had the necessary building skills and others who had the needed gardening skills!  And all of us were working really hard in hot, hot weather with big smiles on our faces because we knew there was meaning and purpose in what we were doing!  Everything seemed to come together in a perfect combination of knowledge, skills, camaraderie, team work and compassion!  I was so grateful I made the choice to be a part of this mission, be around this wonderful group of like mind people, and so proud to be with a personal development company that doesn’t just TALK about changing the world……but who actually DOES something about being part of a larger solution in the world.

Just as we were finishing up on day one we had the pleasure of meeting the pastor of All Souls, Pastor Lonnell.  A very charismatic man, he hugged each of us and thanked us profusely for what we came there to do for them!  He shared a passionate speech with us about how important it was we were there not just for the obvious reason of feeding hungry families, but also to show these families that there are people who really do care about their welfare and want to help them.  It was very touching and my heart was full.

Day two was dedicated to putting the sun screening up over the garden and finishing up the pantry, taping the sheetrock and putting the shelves together.  A few of us learned some new skills and joked that we could now build a walk in closet if we wanted to!  Again, it was a very productive day!

Even though we worked hard during the day, and felt exhausted, we managed to find some great restaurants and take in the scenes of the French Quarter at night.  New Orleans is a great city with a unique flavor of history, culture, cuisine, and creativity.  And it truly wakes up at night!

The days went by very quickly, and Julie and I had to leave on Friday, the third and final work day, but not before going to the famous Cafe du Monde for beignets (a French donut topped with about an inch of powdered sugar) and coffee.  We arrived home late Friday night, glad to be home and feeling fulfilled for making a difference.   I talked to my colleague and friend who was responsible for most of the organizing, Nancy McCleary, on the phone Saturday morning and she said Friday morning an elderly woman came to the church with her two young grandchildren looking for food, not knowing the church now had a completely stocked food pantry, her prayers were answered.  They were the first very grateful recipients of what we had created!

Funny though, how in the end, we are the ones who truly felt blessed!

The YMCA’s mission is youth development, healthy living and social responsibility,  http://www.veniceymca.org

Family-to-Family is a tax-exempt 501 (c)(3) nonprofit organization dedicated to connecting families with more to families with less. The program creates a bridge between suburban communities with enough to share and some of our country’s most impoverished areas, http://www.family-to-family.org

What is Your Success Thermostat Set At?

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If you have big goals and dreams and want to achieve them – easier and faster – then, you may need to assess and consider resetting your mental “success thermostat.” Here’s what I mean … Picture an air conditioner thermostat that’s … Continue reading →

Moving Beyond Fear to Possibility

Here is a brilliant story a friend shared with me today that is a great analogy of moving beyond our narrow selves to our expansive, bigger selves.  Our mind can be like a 10 acre zoo-very noisy and chaotic causing anxiety and tension. But when we allow ourselves to expand and open up to all the other possibilities that exist in our lives than the ones we are currently experiencing, those 10 acres become like a million acres and the 10 acres, even though they still exist and they are still noisy, are not so significant anymore when they exist within a million acres and all the possibilities or potentialities that exist for us!

Dr. Deb

A New Way to Structure Your Workday…

…and Four Ways to Be More Productive-For People Who
Work From Home or an office…

I first learned about this in an article I saw online and decided to give it a try.  I had to do something as I was finding myself doing a lot of “busy work” and not getting anything really productive done.  This new workday structure works like a charm and puts the focus back into my work goals and projects. Give it a try and see what you think?

1. Work in 90 Minute Intervals

I started breaking my day up into 90 minutes “work” sessions, three or maybe four in a day-with a period of downtime in between.

It’s a radical shift. I’m not doing one long shift in the morning and then another in the afternoon. I’m doing four short ones. And why? Because it’s been shown you can do more, be more focused and create better stuff if you focus intensely and then stop.

(This newsletter is taking me about 90 minutes to write. Then I’m off for a quick walk with the dog)

2. Get Enough Sleep

Here are the brutal facts. We’re nearly all sleep-deprived and it’s costing us.

Sure, you say… but I get along just fine on 6 hours sleep a night (or less).

Wrong, I say in reply. Not only do lab tests show that people who are getting less than the 7 plus hours of sleep a night they need under-perform, there are studies that indicate the difference between very good and excellent corresponds with getting more sleep: “Great performers … work more intensely than most of us do but also recover more deeply.”

Yes, if you want to excel, sleep!

2.5. Get more sleep

Day-time napping is encouraged. A 15-20 minute nap in the afternoon significantly increases your ability to deliver for the rest of the day. Love that. (of course, only if you are in an environment that is conducive to a nap!-but if your not, the next best thing is to take a 15 minute walking break, either around the building or the block)

3. Keep moving

Use your environment to help keep you changing your focus and your energy. This is one of the biggest changes I made and Wow! What a difference!

Shape your space so you can behave the way you want to behave.  And because there are different ways you want to behave, you need a range of different spaces in which to do your work.  Think about the work you do.  How can you arrange your space to accommodate the different tasks you do that gets you away from spending every moment at the same desk in front of the same computer?

For me I have different stations around the house.  I may do follow up phone calls with people out by my pool (or in another room of the house if it’s too hot outside), I take my laptop to a coffee shop to do some online marketing, I sit at the dining room table to brainstorm a new article, and I go to my living room (and my books) for inspiration when I feel stuck.  If you are in a workplace, take a project to the library or to the park bench outside. You get the drift.

Bottom line: don’t spend every moment at the same desk in front of the same computer, pausing only to go into the same meeting rooms.

4. Make Your “Downtime” Enjoyable

During your downtime (between the 90 minute shifts), do whatever moves you for 15-30 minutes.  It might be a nap, a walk, or a phone call to a friend.  You might read, do some tapping, meditate, write in your journal, say your affirmations, draw or paint.  You will get into your own rhythm of what makes sense to you at the time. Whatever you do, don’t feel guilty!  This is an important part of this “productivity” process and gets your creative juices going so that when you get back into “work” mode, you are fully there.

Give this new structure a try for a few weeks and let me know how it works for you! I’d love to hear from you!

Dr. Deb

Help “Clear” the Oil Spill

If you want to do something to help clear the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, and you can find just a few minutes to relax, then you really can help!

What many people do not realize is that 23 scientific studies prove that when people focus on a common goal, using meditation to achieve inner peace, that goal tends to come about.

With all of that in mind, Joe Vitale and Pat O’Bryan created a special clearing audio designed to help Clear the Oil Spill.

And they are giving it away.

The Clearing Oil Spill audio uses the same formula they’ve been using in all of our other clearing audios – Joes strategic statements and Pat’s original music – woven together using hi-tech equipment and breakthrough processes to speak right to your unconscious mind.

When you work with the unconscious, you also tap into the collective unconscious.

And that’s where we can impact the oil spill (and anything else we perceive as bad.)

Scoff if you like but I feel it’s at least worth a few minutes a day to listen to their special audio and let it help you clean the world from the inside out.

If nothing else, consider it a relaxing few moments for yourself.

And maybe, just maybe, it may heal the Gulf, and the Earth, as well.

It’s worth a try, isn’t it?

Get the audio at —

http://clearthegulf.com

Peace,

Dr. Deb

http://www.dsbglobalawareness.com

Believe

http://www.photoshow.com/watch/Iv2kt5Yh

Three Reasons People Don’t Change

It is vitally important that we work on our own personal growth and development because when we elevate ourselves, we elevate those around us, creating better communities and a better world.  One person can indeed make a difference! However, allowing inner awareness and positive change brings up resistance for some people.  It requires people to be leaders, big thinkers and to play a bigger game in their life.  To live full out!  From my experience talking with others about this, I have come to understand why some people are not allowing themselves to go to the next level in their lives.  Here are three reasons I feel people don’t change….

1. Their desire for change is not bigger than their fear of change.

Fear of change comes in many forms.  The biggest fear is the fear of failure.  This person does not believe in their ability to succeed for some reason-either from past failures or from past conditioning.  If that fear is stronger than their desire for change, they will remain stuck.   They may not be able to verbalize this, especially when their subconscious conditioning is in conflict with their conscious desire causing them to sabotage themselves without realizing it!  When someone does not believe in themselves and their ability to succeed, it is most often because they do not love themselves or feel worthy of their desires.   They do not believe they can have the things they want, so why risk it? Which brings us to the next (very similar) reason….

2. It is outside of their “conditioned” comfort zone.

There is a perceived “cost” that feels outside their comfort zone.  Sometimes a person will intuitively know that a certain opportunity, goal, desire, or dream will be worth investing time, money and energy in.  But, along with this comes a general distrust in something outside of the traditional scope of working 9-5 for a paycheck.  They may have been conditioned growing up that they must work hard, be happy for what work they can get, work in a JOB that will provide security (benefits and a pension plan) and/or don’t be greedy, i.e. some people don’t have a job-in other words “play it safe” and by going for change, they may be setting themselves up for disappointment.   Even when their desire is to change!  They may “say” they want to work from home, live out their life’s purpose, make a six-figure income in their own business, or get off the 9-5 corporate treadmill and spend more time with their families, but their subconscious is saying something totally different!   Therefore they choose to stay “safe” by not risking it.   These people are “lack” thinkers.  They grew up with the idea that there is only so much to go around and wanting to have a lot of money and a bigger life, is “greedy”.  They limit themselves and feel “virtuous” when they do.  What they really want is something for nothing.

3. They are closed-minded, have a need to be right and do not take full responsibility for their own happiness and success.

This type of person is a victim.  They do not want to be responsible for creating a better life for themselves.  They have learned that it is easier to blame everyone and everything, except themselves, for their miserable circumstances.  Anyone who understands the Law of Attraction knows that what we focus on expands.  This type of person is not aware of their negative thought patterns and how it keeps them from making positive life changes.  They are also not going to be very coachable or trainable because they need to be in control and dominate the people they are in contact with.

When this person hears something negative or inaccurate about Network Marketing for example, they immediately make a decision that it is not for them without checking it out.  These people are closed-minded because they are afraid of being taken advantage of.  This is different than a person who simply has a healthy skepticism about a new venture they are exploring.  Instead, they see the world as a negative place and people are not to be trusted.  Most of the time they do not know anything about Network Marketing and even when you ask them what they know and try to help them realize their fears are misaligned, they still just want to be right.

The fact is, there are thousands of people who are looking for a better way and are not afraid to do whatever it takes to create their best life.  They are the people I want to be around, spend time with and work with because they can see the big picture, recognize an incredible opportunity when they see it, and live joyfully knowing their dreams are seeking them and they are seeking their dreams.  I am so excited about being with and working with people who are interested in taking their life to the next level and who know that by helping themselves live a life that is rich in time, money and resources, they can better serve and inspire others!

Invest In Yourself First

What have you done for yourself lately?  Do you know the most important thing you can do for your   finances, your relationships, and your health is to first take good care of you?  If you are feeling less than wonderful about yourself, then take this month to begin changing that.  Your healthy lifestyle is essential to a healthy, happy life.  The three things that will make the most difference are:

• Cleaning up your food choices- Following a healthy diet improves your energy levels. Learning to cook a signature dish can also be great fun. I highly recommend the movie FOOD INC. It will be hard to ever see food and agriculture the same-but the changes you will make will be good for your family and the planet. Go to http://www.foodincmovie.com

• Getting sufficient exercise- Committing to a regular exercise program improves your mood and your confidence. Remember, exercise can be fun. Get off the treadmill and join a dance class, for instance.  Or join me for a Triathlon this Summer!  Set an amazing goal and challenge yourself to achieve it.  Click here for a Triathlon Training Program.

• Getting enough sleep- make sure your body gets enough sleep. It’s virtually impossible to be exhausted and be a nice person! Sleep well; live well.

To be happy, you must never compromise on your health. Your health is more valuable to you than any amount of money you can borrow or earn. Therefore, invest in you. Be true to yourself. Know what your strengths are, and use them. Above all, don’t wait for other areas of your life to get better before you start treating yourself better.  Remember, the other areas of your life get better when you treat yourself better.

For additional support to ensure you will continue until you have truly integrated these new healthy behaviors into your life go to http://www.loveyourbodyfreeyoursoul.com.  I love to help people set the foundation of physical well-being because I know how powerful it is for creating well-being in all areas of your life!

Change Your Beliefs, Change Your Reality

“The universe supports the reality of your beliefs absolutely.
When you believe you must struggle for abundance,
then it will bring about situations that are conducive to struggle;
when you believe you cannot experience love without pain,
the universe will give you exactly that – love with pain;
when you believe it takes time for an illness to heal – then so it will.
There is not a single force opposing you, there is only ONE force supporting you absolutely.
It is called LOVE, the force that birthed you, that created you in its own image.
This love is so magnanimous it will give you exactly and absolutely whatever it is that your reality entails.
Change your beliefs and you change your reality.”
~ Author Unknown ~

What you can conceive of in your mind becomes real. If you visualize well and can convince your mind that you already have what you desire, and feel as though you already have what you wish, that will quicken the manifestation of your desire.

For example: You want a new job.  First get clear about what you desire from that new job-make a list.  It might look like this:

1. I use my natural skills and talents
2. I am appreciated
3. It is within 20 minutes of my home
4. I make at least 60K a year
5. I love my co-workers and they love me.

Now visualize yourself in this picture.  You are excited about going to work because you know it is the perfect job for you.

The key-you must believe that as you are seeking this job-it is seeking you.  Forces are working on your behalf to bring you what you want.  Take inspired action.  Do what you feel inspired to do toward the end result you are wishing for.  Start getting your resume out there.  Start telling everyone what you are looking for.

This is the part that sets people back.  They do the list, the visualizations, take the action, and then they wait, wishing and hoping instead of “knowing”.  It may take weeks before anything remotely close to what you desire comes along.  Discouragement sets in.  They stop believing and cancel out the manifestation with doubt and fear.

Remember, It’s the law (The Law of Attraction and Manifestation)-it HAS to work if you don’t get in your own way.  Keep BELEIVING it is coming.  It is being orchestrated.  Divine intervention is creating the perfect circumstances.  Your only job other than visualizing and taking inspired action is to keep believing.

The Art Of Manifestation

“The ‘Art’ of Manifestation is really not based on talent and skill,
but the simple recognition of the most fundamental universal law.

The Universe supplies exactly and absolutely what you perceive your reality to be,
that is to say, what you believe in.

If your appeal is “I want …”, then it gives you precisely that, more of WANT, and not WHAT you want,
for your reality is that you WANT.

Rather, state the most powerful words in existence: “I AM…”,
and then add what you perceive yourself to be and KNOW that it already IS.
Do not hope or wish for – simply know that it already IS and give thanks.

The immediacy of the intended manifestation
is in direct proportion to the FEELING with which you charge your thoughts and words.
As you still believe in time, it may take a little time to translate into the physical,
but it MUST manifest. ”

~ Author Unknown ~

Believe it, know it, and achieve it! Happy Manifesting!

The Power of Pure Focused Thought

If you haven’t already heard Abraham talk about the power of 17 seconds, here’s a quick recap from “Ask and It Is Given“:

“Within 17 seconds of focusing on something, a matching vibration becomes activated and the Law of Attraction will bring you more thoughts that match.  At this point, the vibration will not have much attraction power, but if you maintain your focus longer, the power of the vibration will become further reaching.  If you manage to stay purely focused upon any thought for as little as 68 seconds, the vibration is powerful enough that its manifestation begins.”

Now 68 seconds might not sound like a big deal, but I’ve found it’s easier said than done.  But I found something that makes it easier.  Here’s is one way to create conscious beliefs that serve you.  Simply offer a handful of answers to each of the following questions:

• What would I see that shows I’ve achieved this goal?
• What would I hear others say that offers proof I’ve achieved this goal?
• What would I say to others that shows I’ve accomplished this?
• What would I feel once this is mine?

The time it will take you to get through those answers is probably somewhere between 17 and 68 seconds, and virtually all of it will be pure positive pleasant delicious thought.  (It takes a little practice, but it pays off BIG time.)

Happy Manifesting!

Getting From Here to There

But how do you get from here to there?  By being joyful and grateful now for what you have NOW as well as for what is coming!  But, what if you are not happy and grateful with what is going on NOW in your life?  Easy-think of those who do not have what you have-there are those who would love to be able to live pay check to pay check and have a home and a bed to sleep in every night, there are those who would love to be only 10 or 20 lbs over their ideal weight, there are those who would love to drive a car that works, there are those who would love to live in a country where there are the resources for getting help that we have.  Then know you are right where you are supposed to be right now for the learning and growth it is providing AND be joyful knowing you will also be there-wherever THERE is for you-and you will be there before you know it!

The Secret to Getting What You Want

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Remember Mick Jagger’s “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometime you just might find, you get what you needdddddddddd, ah yeah! Is it true, you can’t ALWAYS get what you want? Where else have you … Continue reading →

Are You afraid of Being Dissappointed?

Today I was explaining to a friend how its best to visualize the outcome you desire along with the emotions you would feel when it happens.  He told me he was afraid to imagine and get excited about a certain outcome because he didn’t want to feel disappointed if it didn’t work out that way.  What an interesting response, and I wondered how many other people fall into this trap.  Have you heard any or all of these adages growing up? “Don’t get your hopes up in case it doesn’t work out”, “Who are you to dream that big?”, “Better to be safe than sorry”.  I have, and I do remember being careful what I wished for.

No longer.  I dream big dreams and I get excited about them!  Being fearful of being let down if it doesn’t work out only keeps us stuck in the cycle of things not working out.  It’s the law.  The Law of Attraction says that energies or vibrations we send out into the Universe that are joined by or attracted to energies that are of an equal frequency or an equal vibration that we receive back.

When we focus on something, we create more of it, whether it’s good or bad.  If we are more focused on the fear of being disappointed, then that is what we attract, more disappointment.  Be careful what you wish for by only wishing for the good things-an exciting, happy outcome, abundance, love, health and joy!  Feel how exciting those outcomes will be and I guarantee you will not be disappointed!

Sqeezing Out Joy

As spiritual beings having a human experience, every once in awhile you experience “one of those days”.   Something or someone has caused your energy to plummet into frustration, fear, insecurity, or self-pity.  When you can recognize that this is not your true nature and use the experience to practice moving back into alignment with who you really are, a loving, joy filled being, then that is called “mastery”.  However, as Abraham-Hicks points out, the vibrational gap between the emotions of fear to the emotion of joy is too great to span all at once and a gradual movement in the direction of feeling better is all that is necessary or even possible.

I call these my “squeezing out joy” days.  Too often, if I don’t immediately begin the “squeezing out joy” process, I have a tendency to let the negative stuff spiral out of control and I end up wallowing in self pity.  I forget what’s right in my life and all I can see is what is not right.

The “squeezing out joy” process is a gradual one.  It is a process of gratitude.  I can always find something to be grateful for no matter what the circumstances are.  I might start with the sun is shining today, I love that I live in Florida, I have a roof over my head, food on the table, lots of wonderful friends, I am in good health, and the ocean is only 10 minutes away!

Then I’ll go on to, my kids are happy and healthy, my dog makes me feel loved, or my husband does wonderful things for me, like have my dinner ready when I get home from work or warm up a blanket in the dryer to cover me with on colder evening, to make me feel special.

Ok, now I’m feeling some relief.  Next, I get into looking for joy in the present moments as much as possible.  Right now, as I continue to move throughout my day, what makes my happy?  For example, I love that I have time in the morning to meditate and journal.  I love that I get to exercise outdoors everyday of the year, and I really love breakfast-my favorite meal of the day!  As I drive to work, I think about how much I love that my car has never given me any trouble, that the traffic is flowing and I have a great CD to listen to.  When I get to work, I notice how wonderful my co-workers are and appreciate their personalities.  I give thanks for every kind, happy person I talk with and how they’ve made a contribution to my happiness.  When I get home, I appreciate my house and how it makes me feel so welcome.  I love that my dog is so happy to see me and my husband has welcomed me with dinner and a movie to watch together.  When I go to bed, I love how cozy I feel, and how good the sheets feel on my skin.  I am even grateful for the circumstance that caused me to get upset in the first place, because of the opportunity to appreciate what is right!

I squeeze out every last drop of joy out of my day and then some more.  I have now bridged the gap from fear to joy.  I have avoided the spiral of negativity and can’t even remember how upset I was.  It no longer matters because the feelings of relief and joy feel so much better.

Giving up Judgment

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This one can sometimes be really tough.  When someone has behaved unlovingly toward us—when they yell at us, lie about us, steal from us or treat us badly in any way—they have lost touch with the essence of who they … Continue reading →

Your NOW Predicts Your Future

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My future isn’t about my past. (Life is only about NOW.) Nothing that has ever happened has anything to do with now, unless, in my now, I continue to think and speak about it. Fresh new thoughts today will always … Continue reading →

Getting Out of Your Own Way!

Are you taking responsibility for your intentions, thoughts, actions and decisions? You may not be able to control everything in your life, but you can take responsibility for those things that are within your power to change.

You can recognize that you’re not taking full responsibility when you find yourself using phrases like “I can’t” and “I have to,” when they aren’t literally true. For instance, “I can’t go to your party, I have to visit my in-laws that day,” or “I can’t just tell her the truth; I have to make her feel good.”

In fact, you probably know that the things you “can’t” do may actually be possible, and the things you “have to” do are things you may be choosing to avoid. But at some level, you really believe what you are saying: that you are powerless to choose whether you go to a party or our in-laws’ house, or to tell the truth instead of lying to make someone feel good.

What happens when you exchange “I can’t” and “I have to” into purposeful, responsible choices? When you say, “I won’t be attending the party, because I’ve agreed to see my in-laws,” or “I’m choosing not to tell her the truth because I want to avoid hurting her feelings,” you re-claim both your responsibility and your power. Make choices on purpose, and take responsibility. Try this.

List five different ways you feel you can’t, because you have to:

I can’t , because I have to …

I can’t , because I have to …

I can’t , because I have to …

I can’t , because I have to …

I can’t , because I have to …

Now, reread the statements you’ve just written. Are they literally, physically true? Is it completely impossible for you to do the things you “can’t” do? Do you truly “have” to do the things you say you “have” to do?

Instead of “I can’t,” rewrite the phrases above with: “I choose not to,” “I’ve decided not to,” “I will not,” or “I want to.” Where you have written “I have to,” change the words to “I choose to,” “I’ve decided to,” “I will,” or “I want to.”

By doing this, you have shouldered responsibility for the things you really can change, and set yourself free to co-create the life you want.

Love Never Fails

Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope. ~Maya Angelou

The Law of Love says that no matter what kind of condition, situation, or relationship you are dealing with, when you bring love to that circumstance, it will be transformed.  Love is the equalizing, harmonizing, balancing, adjusting force that is ever at work throughout the Universe. 

At Harvard University, they actually established a research center staffed with scientists and world-renowned sociologists who conduct research studies on the power of love!  What a wonderful job to have!  Their findings include, that love can be deliberately produced by human beings!  In other words, there is no reason why we cannot generate love, on purpose, to help ourselves and to help others.  It is wonderful to realize, as the Harvard scientists found, that you do not have to look outside yourself, waiting and hoping that love will find you, but that you can deliberately generate love for yourself and for mankind from within your own being.  And, by doing so, you will unfailingly draw the perfect expressions of love into your own life.  It is through your own thoughts, feelings and expectations that love is born and as you deliberately express love, it inevitably comes back to you multiplied.  (i.e., The law of like attracts like!)

Why would you want to generate love on purpose? Because no matter how much you know about Universal Laws, if you are not able to feel love for yourself and others, all else will seem of little value.  It is estimated that even your financial success is due only to 15% of your technical ability, and 85% to your ability to love yourself (confidence) and get along with other people.  Jesus points out in the bible to a lawyer that love fulfills the whole law, meaning the whole law of healthy, happy, harmonious, successful living! (Matthew 22:40)

So how do you produce and generate love?  In two ways: through both personal love and impersonal love.  On a personal level, love is expressed as devotion, tenderness, kindness, approval and appreciation for yourself and those in your circle of family and friends.  On an impersonal level, it is expressed in the ability to get along with others, or the extension of goodwill toward all others without attachment. 

However, you cannot love others or radiate love outward until you love yourself and feel it within first. I highly recommend spending just a few minutes a day deliberately generating love inward and outward by affirming, “I am now deliberately and joyously radiating Divine love to myself, my world, and to all mankind.” When you do this, and it will only take a few minutes, also think of love as a radiant light permeating your whole being and if there are any troublesome areas in your life, deliberately think of them as coming alive with the light of Divine love and being divinely adjusted.  I wonder what changes will manifest in your life and in the world around you if you consciously did this everyday! Do your own semi-scientific experiment and find out!

Wave/Particle Duality and Intention

So what does wave/particle duality have to do with intention? Everything!  I love studying the concrete science behind the ethereal because it validates what we know is true intuitively and experientially. 

Many of us know and have observed that energy is responsive to our thoughts and intentions. But, as humans, we sometimes forget and/or need more evidence of our Divine nature which is as much a part of our identity as our human nature.  As a human being, we can fall into worry, stress, striving, and needing to prove our worthiness.  Yet, as a spiritual being, we have a source within us that says to relax, all is well, you are worthy just as you are, trust this.  This is our human/divine duality. 

Wave/particle duality is a principle of quantum physics that actually measures individual intention! Scientists found that light was more than just a wave of energy, and that it could also be measured as a particle.  The really cool part is when a technician sets about to measure the light, the light seems to “know” whether the technicians intention is to measure particles or whether the technicians intention is to measure waves.  Since light cannot be measured in both particles and waves at the same time, the light responds to whatever the conscious intention of the technician is.  The light obediently responds to the human request, appearing in the exact form intended by the person measuring it! This never fails!

What does this mean to us?  Well, it means that light has consciousness, and that it responds directly to the conscious intention of the individual!  What we can understand from this is that whatever our expectations are about a thing, it is projected as a very clear intention that gets results from the Universe! It also reveals that energy is both active and responsive to the human will. 

Therefore if we look at the quantum nature of creating a successful life, it truly lies in the quality of our thoughts, expectations and intentions along with the peace and joy of our everyday emotions.  To allow the kind of success we want into our life, a great question to stop and ask ourselves every so often is “What is my intention for this year, this month, this week, this day, this very moment”  We always have a choice.

Are You Living Your Life on Autopilot?

 

 

I know a lot of people who are living their life on autopilot.  These are the people who go through their days letting life just happen to them.  No matter what they do, things just don’t seem to work out the way they want them to.  Over the years, and for awhile in my own life, I’ve wondered why this happens. 

When the answer came to me, it was a big ah ha moment.  These people, (including myself for a long time), had not bought into one of the most fundamental principles underlying all personal change.  They have not yet realized that somehow—even if they can’t see how—they are creating what’s happening in their life. 

Are you one of these people?  Are you pretending you don’t have control? I don’t mean you’re to blame for your life.  No one consciously or intentionally creates a life they do not want. However, there is an unconscious part of you that generates feelings, behaviors, meanings and what you attract, and what you are attracted to that you are not generally aware of.  This is the part of you that suffered some sort of trauma in the past and as a result, you are unconsciously protecting yourself from experiencing that pain again. Your belief, and the resulting focus on what you don’t want, is actually creating more of what you don’t want without you realizing it. And the more you got what you didn’t want, the more you proved that you were not worthy of what you did want. 

For example, if you grew up with parents who were mentally abusive and called you stupid whenever you made a mistake, then to avoid the pain of being called stupid you decided to never make a mistake, never take a risk and never attract anything that might fail.  If you did make a mistake, in your mind, it just continued to prove your parents were right. These thought patterns are often not conscious, but lie in our subconscious mind because they are so practiced we don’t need to think about them consciously anymore.

I knew a woman whose family held the belief that all women were not good in math or science.  She believed this about herself and continued to do things to prove it to be true as a result of her deeply ingrained belief.  Then as part of a job interview, she was required to take an IQ test and aptitude tests.  The tests revealed she had a very high IQ and aptitude in math and science!  Her old beliefs were shattered with this new awareness and she now had incredible confidence in her newfound genius! 

When you are unaware of these unconscious processes you live on autopilot and it seems as if you have no control and nothing goes right.  But, if you begin to be aware of these unconscious processes and accept that you have no idea how you are creating your life the way it is, even though you now know that somehow you are, and then became really curious to find out exactly HOW you are…you will figure it out!  You will gain control of your life!

In your new curiosity, if you start to pay attention to what you believe, what is important to you, what you are focusing your attention on, and what meaning you are placing on things, then you will begin to see the direct correlation to what is showing up in your life and the beliefs, thoughts, meanings, and focus that you need to change in order to transform your life. 

Here’s the key…it won’t happen by itself! You must be willing to do the work!  You must pay attention everyday to what you are focusing on, what you believe and thus, what you are creating.  The good news is, just by having this awareness, and noticing what doesn’t serve you, you will automatically stop doing it! You just can’t do something you know isn’t working for you once you are aware of it! You can only do something that doesn’t serve you if you do it unconsciously.

This month, look at what is not working in your life, then learn to be aware of what you are focusing on and you will access a power that will dissolve obstacles, so you can begin creating a life you want and deserve.

Why Isn’t It Here Yet?

Do you have a desire or a big “want” in your life that is taking a long time to manifest? 

 If you are a student of the Law of Attraction, and you are keeping your vibrations up, staying in tune to your guidance, getting intuitive “hits” and watching as events are lining up, but are still asking “where is this big want that is still nowhere in sight?”, then keep reading!

If it’s not showing up in the time frame you consider to be reasonable, it usually means you’ve been more in the feeling place of not having it, and less in the feeling place of having it.

Here are some possible mistakes you could be making:

• You’re trying too hard. (creating resistance)
• You’ve gotten really attached to the outcome.
• You’ve made the desire so big you don’t believe it’s possible.
• You’re not paying attention to how you really feel.
• You are not trusting the Universe.
• You’re still playing the victim game (blaming, complaining or justifying about why it isn’t here yet)
• All of the above.

You know what?  It’s all ok.  Give yourself a break.  No one taught you how to be a deliberate creator growing up so it’s going to be normal that you flounder a bit as you “play” with recognizing your resistance. There is no one or nothing to blame.  You have just grown up being more accustomed to resistance, like most of society, than not and you often don’t even notice it!

Can you just let it be ok that your big “want” hasn’t shown up yet?  You know that it will, but its fine that it hasn’t…yet.  The goal is to stop alternating between vibrating it and resisting it, to stop vacillating between belief and doubt.  It’s like you are trying to drive with the brake on and not getting anywhere!

So the question remains, how does one remain passionate about something that hasn’t shown up yet?  Here are some suggestions:

1.  Check in with where your thoughts being directed to.  Are you directing your energy to what you want or what you don’t want?  For example, you may want more than enough money to pay for all of your monthly expenses, but you are thinking (and vibrating) more about not wanting to come up short this month.
2. How often are you getting into the “feeling” place of having what you want?  Keep yourself hyped up about it!  Talk about it, write about it, sing about it, and visualize about it until you are feeling that certain “buzz” about it and do this every day!   Here’s a clue, sixteen seconds is all that it really takes so don’t make this hard!  Have fun and see how much longer than sixteen second you can extend that “buzz” (confident, happy, relaxed and excited about your want already being true) to!
3. Sit back and relax, the Universe will bring you your big want in the appropriate time for you to derive from it all that you desire.  The Law of Attraction is never inconsistent-it works all the time, no matter what!  Go from believing to the level of knowing it is on its way to you!
4. Now that you are relaxed and in that vibration of knowing it’s already done-the Universe is on it, so let it go and go out and have some fun today!  Be grateful, live it, and allow it and it will be in your life before you know it-providing you are keeping your focus off its absence!

What’s Your “Success Thermostat” Set At?

If you have big goals and dreams and want to achieve them – easier and faster – then, you may need to assess and consider resetting your mental “success thermostat.”

Here’s what I mean …

Picture an air conditioner thermostat that’s set at 75 degrees. When the room temperature reaches 76 or higher, the thermostat kicks on the AC – cooling the room back down to 75.

Inside your mind, you’ve got a similar thermostat. Because of preconceived notions or past experiences, it may be set for a certain level of success. And when that level is exceeded, your mental thermostat finds a way to bring you back to the original setting.

I remember in my late 20’s, and early 30’s, I had a mental thermostat of $25,000.00 to $30,000.00 a year.  That was all I believed I could achieve. Of course, as a result, the job I got paid me right in that range! 

Then, as I got older, my self-perceived value increased as a result of my added education and experience to $40,000.00-$45,000.00 a year.  Once again, the job and salary I got reflected that!  And it was the same job-just a different location! 

This goes for success in any area of your life.  For example, have you ever lost weight, only to gain it all back?

That may have been due to your success thermostat. It was set at a certain weight. When you lost the weight through diet and/or exercise, it registered the loss and did what was necessary to kick things back up to its original setting.

Ultimately, your success thermostat is responsible for how much success you can handle in any given area of your life.

In both of these examples, the thermostat is the beliefs and self-image that made you decide what was possible for you, your “deserved” income level or weight to begin with.

Have you ever felt like you can’t break through to the next level of success … whether it’s increasing your income from $40,000 per year to $150,000 (or more) … or even simply taking the first step and researching what’s possible for you to do that would allow you to earn that kind of income? If so, more than likely, it’s your internal thermostat holding you back. As soon as it senses that you’re nearing the breakthrough point, it pulls you back.

This may come in the form of fear or anxiety, along with thoughts of self-doubt.

In order to set your thermostat to handle higher levels of success in any area of your life, you’ve got to start on the inside. You’ve got to explore the beliefs and emotions you have as they relate to whatever goal you’re trying to achieve.

Once you’ve identified how and why your thermostat was set to where it is now, then you can begin the work to reset it. And when you do, you can expect greater success faster – and with less effort.

Here’s a quick rundown on how to do that:

Step 1: Identify your underlying beliefs.

Let’s say your goal is to double your income. But no matter how hard you’ve tried, you can’t seem to break through. Take a moment and think about what you believe about money. For example, do you believe things like, “Money is hard to come by,” or even “Money is evil”? One client I had felt guilty about earning more than his father did, keeping his inner thermostat stuck at the income level of his father.  Another client did not believe she had what it took to be successful on her own, so whenever she tried a new business, it would fail and she’d have to go back to work for someone else. 

Whatever your limiting belief is, by trying to earn more, you’re working against yourself, because of your belief system around money. 

Make a list of those beliefs that you feel are creating an obstacle to your goal.

Step 2: Identify the emotions attached to your beliefs.

If your beliefs aren’t in line with what you want to accomplish, then chances are your emotions aren’t either.

As you review the beliefs you identified in Step 1, notice how you feel about them. Does the thought of having a lot of money make you feel guilty? Do you feel embarrassed or uncomfortable asking people for money when you’re owed?  Do you believe that people who have a certain level of income “crooks” or selfish?

Make a list of all the emotions that are working against you.

Step 3: Change those beliefs and emotions you’ve identified.

You want to change the beliefs and emotions you identified in Steps 1 and 2 by replacing them with empowering beliefs that support the achievement of your goal. In a sense, this is how you “reset” your internal success thermostat. You’re programming your mind with new beliefs that allow you to handle more success, more responsibility, more abundance, and, ultimately, more of the things you want.

To let go of your old beliefs and emotions, you’ll have to convince yourself of their faulty logic. Realize that they don’t serve you. Then replace them with what you want via affirmations or other positive change methods like visualization.

This process will also help you change your self-image from that of who you are now, to the person you want to become. This is important. Because once you’ve cemented the belief that you are the successful person that you want to be, success will come almost automatically. You’ll find yourself doing the things that naturally bring your goals and dreams toward you.

I’ve reset my success thermostat and am attracting amazing people, circumstances and opportunities for generating a much larger income than I have ever before believed possible. 

These three steps will help you reset your success thermostat. And when you do, expect great things to start happening!

What a Difference an Energy Shift Can Make!

 A few weeks ago, I was having trouble shaking off some negative energy that just wanted to hang around.  I could not put my finger on what had me feeling so dejected and down, but I could see what it was doing for my business.  In direct response to the negative spiral I was in, my business leads had dried up and the people I did talk to were, to be nice, “drainers” themselves. 

By the weekend, I knew I had to do something.  I did not want to feel this way anymore and I wanted o get back to the fun I normally have with my business.  I worked my way back to the exact incident that derailed me.  A gentleman with whom I had several wonderful conversations with and who I was looking forward to having a business relationship with changed his mind completely and sent me an email expressing the reason for his complete turnaround.  I was very disappointed (why can’t everyone see what a great business this is?).  And, even though his decision had nothing to do with me or the business, and everything to do with his own fears, I still took it personally.

When I realized this was the start of my downward spiral, I started thinking more about it.  How I felt had nothing at all to do with this gentleman and his change of mind.  All he did was reactivate an old limiting belief about myself.  Joe Vitale, in his wonderful book “The Attraction Factor”, calls it our hot buttons.  He says every one of us has a hurt(s) from our past that runs our life.  For one person the hurt might be failure, for another it’s the hurt of feeling worthless, not good enough, not worth loving or some other form of not feeling okay with who they are. 

It’s also important to not avoid these feelings and instead face them and really feel them, and then recognize them for what they are so we can give these feelings a voice.   My husband helped me with this one and I realized a fear of rejection was pretty strong in my growing up causing me to not feel good enough in circumstance that triggered this hot button. 

I took some time that weekend to do some clearing of the energy that was feeling so bad using some of the energy tools I teach my clients.  One of them is Emotional Freedom Technique (which I share regarding weight loss on my Love Your Body, Free Your Soul website).  EFT is a great tool for shifting your limiting beliefs (and your energy) so you can create more success in all areas of your life. 

I was not prepared for the dramatic change it made in my business!  Even though I changed nothing about how I generated leads to my business opportunity from the week before, I was getting more leads than I had ever gotten in one week!  And the people I had the absolute pleasure of talking to were pleasant, wonderful, amazing people of which several were very interested in the business!

What had happened?  The core belief was exposed and disconnected, and the energy began to flow again.  I’m not saying another unconscious hot button will never again get triggered, but now I know how to deal with it! 

Resources: 

• Go to  http://www.tapping.com for more information in EFT.
• Go to http://www.everythingisenergy.com to sign up for their Everything is Energy Toolkit for releasing negative energy.
• For tools to help you change your energy for increasing prosperity in your life, go to http://www.amazingjourneycoach.com/products.html  Including the hit DVD “The Secret” which is chock full of ways to change your energy and change your life.

Reality Shifting

Before you read this, take one or two minutes to think about your life.  Is it everything you want it to be?  Is there any area, whether financial, career, health, relationships, lifestyle, happiness that isn’t what you would like it to be?  What is it? 

Now, I’m going to suggest something to you that you may not like.  Whatever the situation is that you are not happy with, you are responsible for creating it.  I know what you are thinking.  Why in the world would I create this?  Well, your rational, thinking mind wouldn’t, but your subconscious mind would.  Why?  Because, subconsciously you placed limits on yourself for one reason or another.  Sometime in your life, you chose to believe that what you now have is the only reality possible for you based on your current idea of who you are. 

Is that the only reality possible for you?  Of course not!  It’s not hard to see as you look at the world around you that there are realities that are much worse than the one you now exist in and there are realities much better than the one you exist in.  This just happens to be the one you chose to exist in (not consciously, of course).

Is this making any sense?  I hope so.  Because when you can see this clearly, you will have the key to changing your reality to something better.  When you can believe there are hundreds, if not thousands of other possibilities for you to choose from, then you can begin the process of “reality shifting”.

Go back to the area(s) you are not happy with.  What other possibilities exist?  For example, if you are up to your eyeballs in credit card debt, does the possibility of being debt-free exist?  Of course it does, many people are living a debt free existence.  What limiting thoughts come up for you when you read that?  “Well, that’s great for some people, but that’s not possible for me”, or “Those people had some kind of advantage over me, they have a better job, or they were taught at a young age how to handle their money”.   Well, those things may be true, but I guarantee that “those people” all have one thing in common-they believed somewhere in their consciousness that their reality included the possibility of being debt free and by choosing that possibility, they acted on it.  Circumstances and experiences were drawn to them to make sure that their perceived reality of being debt free came true for them. 

And it can work the same way for you too.  No matter what your current reality is, it is not too late to shift into a better one.  All you have to do is BELIEVE that a better one is possible for you! How do you shift your consciousness to believing in a new reality?  By taking your focus off your current reality and putting it onto your new desired reality.

It would help to choose a new reality that is a shift to something that would require you to stretch your horizons a bit as far as believability, but not so much that you just can’t see it.   For example, in the situation above, this person could choose the reality of always having more than enough money to pay all their bills.  If a true desire exists to change their reality, and they started focusing on what that new reality looked like and felt like most of the time, and knew without a doubt it was a possibility for them (and it is, because the possibility exists for anyone who chooses it), they will then be able to create a shift to this new reality. 

This is not just Aladdin’s lamp, woo-woo psycho babble-this is real!  It is all backed by Quantum Physics which is the Science of Energy and how we influence energy with intentional thought.  You can choose not to believe and continue to focus on what isn’t working for you and as a result, continue to receive more of that.  Or you can open your mind to a new idea, a new possibility and a new way of being by focusing on the reality you would like to create for your life.  Honestly, what do you have to lose?  Do you not think you deserve the greatest of possibilities? 

Spreading Joy

 

I recently took advantage of Disney’s offer to anyone who wants to come to Disney free on their birthday in 2009.  For me, as “goofy”as it sounds, it was a magical day.  I was reminded of our energetic connections to one another presently and throughout history.  When I went on Spaceship Earth, a ride depicting our planetary advances throughout history and how relatively quickly we have evolved, I was reminded of how connected we are to our ancestors and our future.   Things started out pretty slow in the beginning (pre-historic times), but as time went on the advances made by society began to speed up and today, technological advances are taking place at a faster pace than ever before.  We learn, grow and evolve because of those who went before us and paved the way, just as we are paving the way for those who will come after us.  

Those brave individuals who have paved the way and continue to do so are the pioneers-the people who had a vision, were big thinkers and were not afraid to pursue their passions no matter what other people thought of them.  Before the 20^th Century, they used the Law of Attraction without knowing about it!  Their energy and enthusiasm spread to others who then created something better and like dominos, new and improved ideas started showing up in our reality.  Around the 20^th century, more people began to understand the science of how our mindset (Our thoughts, desires, faith, etc…) can help us attain our goals.      

Today, we are recognizing the power of our mindset, back with the power of our emotions in creating an energy that gets transmitted out to the world.  When we talk about being all one, the matrix or the quantum field, we are talking about how we are all connected in this way.  When we dare to be ourselves and share our gifts with the world, the passion, emotion and energy that goes out into the world benefits everyone in all kinds of amazing ways.  When we do what gives us joy, we give joy to others.  When we do what gives us joy, we also get our creative juices going.  When we get our creative juices going it is a contagious kind of energy that travels to people all around us, to those who will take what we’ve created and take it a step further and to all those yet to be born.  Energy channeled in the right way creates amazing successes for all.  It’s a great and interesting web we weave!

Sharing who we are and giving our best to others feels good.  It is the easiest way to spread a wave of good energy.  Just sharing a smile with someone might brighten their day and set off a chain of happy events for that person that day.  I can tell you that being wished a happy birthday from so many people in one day at Epcot Center was so much fun because I knew the people giving me the birthday wish enjoyed it as much as I did.  I had fun wishing Happy Birthday to all the other people at the park who shared my birthday as well (we all had birthday buttons on with our name on them). 

We are all truly connected.  When we give our joy, our gifts, our creativity to others, we give them the best gift we can give them and you will never know the true impact of that gift-it could literally go on forever. 

 

LEAP!

Have you ever stood on the edge of somewhere in your life and realized you were really meant to be “on the other side”?   I picture myself standing on the edge of a cliff, looking over a chasm and knowing I am supposed to be on the other side of it.  There is this very strong “pull” to get over there, NOW!

If you’ve been there or are there right now, you can relate.  There is usually only one big decision standing in the way depending on the change that is begging for completion.  For me it is when to take the leap and leave my safe, secure, but uninspiring job and do what is more in alignment with my soul.  My job is ok and there are probably many people who would love to have it.  20 years ago-it would have been my dream job.  But I have changed so much since then.  I have educated myself and learned what else I am capable of.  I feel I have “out grown it” and I have a new calling and a new dream. 

Do you resonate with this?  Many people do, especially now as consciousness is shifting and people are becoming more aware of the meaning or lack of meaning in their lives.  More people are recognizing the treadmill they are on and want off!  The new calling often starts small, through some event, comment or challenge- and begins to grow, sometimes quickly with great urgency and sometimes slowly over a period of time.  My new calling has been growing in me for quite some time.  It has definitely taken root and has established itself as a permanent part of who I am meant to be.  When this happens, you can no longer ignore that it exists! 

If you have been paying attention, you can see how you have been guided in new directions-exciting opportunities are showing up that you know are more in alignment with who are now.  If you are open to them, you will take inspired action and the gap between where you are and where you long will get narrower and narrower.  All that you need to do now is take the leap. 

Now the leap may seem easy or be a more of a stretch.  But most of the time, however, its not a little hop-it’s a leap!  And it can be very scary on so many levels!  What if you fail?  You can probably hear the voices saying, “Don’t do it! You might not make it!  And even if you do, there are no guarantees!  You have a sure thing where you are, why not just be happy where you are?   Why take the risk? People are losing their jobs in this economy and you want to let go of yours?  Are you crazy?  What will people think?”

Well, you could just choose to be happy where you are.  But, you won’t be.  Because if you don’t do anything, you will never know what you could have been and that feels restrictive, not expansive.  Your soul longs for expansion!  Ask yourself, “What is the worst that could happen?”  Actually, the better question and the one I choose to ask is “what if I succeed?”  In being in alignment with who you truly are, how much better can you serve the world?  The chance to do what you really want to do is your Devine right.  Do not choose to go through life letting your dreams and desires slip by.   Do not get to the end of your life and wish you had done it differently, took more risks or stepped away from the status quo. 

Jimmy Carter said, “I have one life and one chance to make it count for something.  I am free to choose what that something is, and something I have chosen is my faith.  Now my faith goes beyond theology and religion and it requires considerable work and effort.  My faith demands, this is not optional.  My faith demands that I do whatever I can do wherever I am, whenever I can, for as long as I can with whatever I have to make a difference.”

You have a toolbox within you full of ideas, experience, knowledge, skills and resources that you can use to support your dream.  You understand that anything is possible if you believe it is.  You know there is Devine guidance available to you.  Now, create a plan, visualize the outcome and take the leap. 

I love this story called “The Chicken” by Gary Barnes and it speaks to anyone who is letting fear keep them from taking the leap and living the life they desire and dream of living.

Once upon a time, there was a large mountainside where an eagle’s nest rested.  The eagle’s nest contained four large eagles eggs.  One day an earth quake rocked the mountain causing one of the eggs to roll down the mountain to a chicken farm located in the valley below.

The chickens knew that they must protect and care for the eagle egg, so an old hen volunteered to nurture and raise the large egg.  One day, the egg hatched and a beautiful eagle was born.  Sadly, however, the eagle was raised to be a chicken. 

Soon the eagle believed he was nothing more than a chicken.  The eagle loved his home and family, but his spirit cried out for more.  While playing a game on the farm one day, the eagle looked at the sky above and noticed a group of mighty eagles soaring in the sky. 

“Oh, “ the eagle cried.  “I wish I could soar like those birds.”  The chickens roared with laughter.  “You can’t soar with those birds. You’re a chicken and chickens do not soar.”  The eagle continued staring at his real family up above, dreaming that he could be with them.  Each time the eagle would let his dreams be known, he was told it couldn’t be done.

That’s what the eagle learned to believe.  The eagle, after a time, stopped dreaming and continued to live his life as a chicken.  Finally, after a long life as a chicken, the eagle passed away. 

The moral of the story: You become what you believe you are. So if you ever dreamed of becoming an eagle, follow your dream and not the words of a chicken. 

You are here to live your life as the eagle you were born to be. Are you ready to soar?  I am.  

If you haven’t seen Wayne Dyers new movie “Ambition to Meaning”, it is a must see movie.  It an amazing piece of work and goes perfectly with this months article.  To get a copy or watch it online, click here.

See you on the other side! 

Dr. Deb

Be, Do, Have

As we say goodbye to 2008 and look forward to a new year, we often become acutely aware of the passage of time and how short life really is.  This is a good thing as it creates a sense of urgency and is a great stopper of procrastination!  This is also a good time to review the “Be, Do, Have” principle.  It goes like this, “BE the person you dream of by DOING the things you dream, and you will HAVE the things you dream of having.”  This is the natural order.  BE first, DO second, HAVE third. 

To make absolute certain you are moving in the right direction as you go into the new year, it will be important to know what your terms and criteria for your life are, and if reality seems to be moving you away from being who you want to be, or is no longer meeting your criteria, you can adjust who you are being and what you are doing. 

What does your dream life look like? What if you could have it all? What if you could have a great and rich life without compromising on the quality of any area of your life? How is that different from your current reality?  Write it down.  Enjoy the dream.  Have fun with your answers.  Once you have that established, you will have your basis for your goals.  You will stop wasting time doing what you don’t want and start spending more time doing what you love. 

You don’t need to bail out on your reality 100% or all at once if it looks very different than your dream life.  Creating the change you want to see will be a process and as you stay clear about what you want and are honest about where you are, you will be able to design a plan and a strategy that will continually move you forward. 

One way to make this happen is by the daily choices you make to move towards what you want.  Stay focused and aware of your feelings as they will be your guide.  Give consideration to your daily needs and give attention to what makes you feel better.  You can learn to develop that part of yourself that continues to check in to see where you are and assists you in the redefining of your reality.  It is essential to consistently have an accurate picture of what’s going on in your life, where you are in relation to where you want to be and how you are feeling about it. 

As you do this, you will be guided toward the resources and ideas that will help shift your reality, and you will be required to take action.  As you move closer to you dream you may also notice new fears emerging.  This is natural and part of the process!  By practicing your awareness of these fears and the feelings that accommodate them, identifying the truth about them will be part of your transition. 

This is a powerful process in trusting your own judgment about what is the right and best path for you and it all begins by getting clear about what you want and exploring how it would be if you truly could “have it all”. 

If you are ready to take an honest look at your reality, and most important, what you believe to be real and identify what is real, what is a judgment or opinion (that might not be real-but conditioned in you from childhood), and where you might be using reality as an excuse to abandon your dream, then hiring a life coach could make all the difference.  Coaching can help you see who you are, not who you think you are or who you think you are supposed to be. 

I believe you know (at a certain level) exactly what you want and what your dream come true life would look like for you.  I believe you also know the reality of what’s stopping you.  Isn’t it time to have your dream become your reality?  Be the person you dream of by doing the things you dream!

To your absolute freedom, health and prosperity in 2009!

Dr. Deb

P.S.  Check out my Master Musings page for two great vidos by Jack Canfield, Success Coach and Co-author of the “Chicken Soup for the Soul” series on “Planning your Day” and “Goal Setting”

Gratitude “Ah Ha’s”

 

Thanksgiving morning football with friends

The holiday season is officially upon us! I get a giddy feeling of joy and appreciation this time of year.  I think there is naturally an enhanced excited kind of energy from Thanksgiving through New Years than the rest of the year.   We are reminded of the small things that we may take for granted most of the time, especially the gift of family and friends.  Since last Christmas, when a good friend gave me “The Secret” gratitude journal for a gift, I have been writing down my gratitude’s daily (with exception of a few days here and there).  Here are a few “ah ha’s” I encountered from my yearlong focus on gratitude that may seem really simple, but have really hit home on a deeper, more profound level for me than my previous understanding.   

• Some days, when I wrote my gratitude’s down in my journal, my heart would feel so full.   But it would only last as long as I was thinking about those things I was grateful for at that moment in time, then I would get caught up in the ups and downs of my day and forget about them.  My big “ah ha” this year was when I realized that appreciation is not a 10-20 minute a day “program”, but must be an on-going all day process if we are to create more to be joyful and appreciative about in our lives!  So I began going into my day consciously looking for things to be grateful for all day long.  This was kind of fun, because the more I would find, the more that seemed to appear for me to appreciate!  At first I would keep forgetting to do this, but, the more I practiced it the easier it became.  I still have my days, but for the most part, I do go through most of them feeling happy and appreciative for all the wonderful people, situations, opportunities, things, health and love I have in my life.
• The next “ah ha” came when I would hit a snag-a challenge, disappointment or frustration I had to deal with.  Boy it’s hard to feel grateful in those moments!  What I learned was, its ok to feel disappointed and frustrated, these are natural human emotions and they are important in helping us wee what we truly desire instead for ourselves.  There is always something to be grateful for even in those situations!  It comes down to the “Law of Opposites” where we can always find an equal and opposite “want or desire” in everything we encounter that we don’t want!  The goal then is to focus on the solution, not the problem, the “want” instead of the “don’t want” and remind ourselves of our goals. 
• The next “ah ha” I’d like to share came to me very recently when we had visitors from MN.  They were so appreciative of our home and its “resort” feel and how comfortable they felt here.  I felt so much more appreciative of my home through them than I normally do, which was fun, but I also thought how easily we take things for granted.  So I decided I am going to be a “visitor” in my own home as often as possible so I could continue that feeling of appreciation.   I thought too, if I can do that with my home, why not do it with other things in my life?  When people tell me how wonderful my husband is-I take a moment to appreciate who he is.  When someone tells me I seem really happy, I really let that sink in.  When someone says I inspired him or her to start exercising, I appreciate my lifelong ability to stick to a fitness program and enjoy it!  I now add “compliments” to my way of reminding myself how much I appreciate things I may be taking for granted about myself and my life.

In Peace and Gratitude,

Dr. Deb 

Take control of your thought energy-you

Take control of your thought energy-you always have the more positive option of letting go and opting for peace and trust instead. http://ow.ly/4sE29