Getting Out of Your Own Way!

Are you taking responsibility for your intentions, thoughts, actions and decisions? You may not be able to control everything in your life, but you can take responsibility for those things that are within your power to change.

You can recognize that you’re not taking full responsibility when you find yourself using phrases like “I can’t” and “I have to,” when they aren’t literally true. For instance, “I can’t go to your party, I have to visit my in-laws that day,” or “I can’t just tell her the truth; I have to make her feel good.”

In fact, you probably know that the things you “can’t” do may actually be possible, and the things you “have to” do are things you may be choosing to avoid. But at some level, you really believe what you are saying: that you are powerless to choose whether you go to a party or our in-laws’ house, or to tell the truth instead of lying to make someone feel good.

What happens when you exchange “I can’t” and “I have to” into purposeful, responsible choices? When you say, “I won’t be attending the party, because I’ve agreed to see my in-laws,” or “I’m choosing not to tell her the truth because I want to avoid hurting her feelings,” you re-claim both your responsibility and your power. Make choices on purpose, and take responsibility. Try this.

List five different ways you feel you can’t, because you have to:

I can’t , because I have to …

I can’t , because I have to …

I can’t , because I have to …

I can’t , because I have to …

I can’t , because I have to …

Now, reread the statements you’ve just written. Are they literally, physically true? Is it completely impossible for you to do the things you “can’t” do? Do you truly “have” to do the things you say you “have” to do?

Instead of “I can’t,” rewrite the phrases above with: “I choose not to,” “I’ve decided not to,” “I will not,” or “I want to.” Where you have written “I have to,” change the words to “I choose to,” “I’ve decided to,” “I will,” or “I want to.”

By doing this, you have shouldered responsibility for the things you really can change, and set yourself free to co-create the life you want.

Are You Living Your Life on Autopilot?

 

 

I know a lot of people who are living their life on autopilot.  These are the people who go through their days letting life just happen to them.  No matter what they do, things just don’t seem to work out the way they want them to.  Over the years, and for awhile in my own life, I’ve wondered why this happens. 

When the answer came to me, it was a big ah ha moment.  These people, (including myself for a long time), had not bought into one of the most fundamental principles underlying all personal change.  They have not yet realized that somehow—even if they can’t see how—they are creating what’s happening in their life. 

Are you one of these people?  Are you pretending you don’t have control? I don’t mean you’re to blame for your life.  No one consciously or intentionally creates a life they do not want. However, there is an unconscious part of you that generates feelings, behaviors, meanings and what you attract, and what you are attracted to that you are not generally aware of.  This is the part of you that suffered some sort of trauma in the past and as a result, you are unconsciously protecting yourself from experiencing that pain again. Your belief, and the resulting focus on what you don’t want, is actually creating more of what you don’t want without you realizing it. And the more you got what you didn’t want, the more you proved that you were not worthy of what you did want. 

For example, if you grew up with parents who were mentally abusive and called you stupid whenever you made a mistake, then to avoid the pain of being called stupid you decided to never make a mistake, never take a risk and never attract anything that might fail.  If you did make a mistake, in your mind, it just continued to prove your parents were right. These thought patterns are often not conscious, but lie in our subconscious mind because they are so practiced we don’t need to think about them consciously anymore.

I knew a woman whose family held the belief that all women were not good in math or science.  She believed this about herself and continued to do things to prove it to be true as a result of her deeply ingrained belief.  Then as part of a job interview, she was required to take an IQ test and aptitude tests.  The tests revealed she had a very high IQ and aptitude in math and science!  Her old beliefs were shattered with this new awareness and she now had incredible confidence in her newfound genius! 

When you are unaware of these unconscious processes you live on autopilot and it seems as if you have no control and nothing goes right.  But, if you begin to be aware of these unconscious processes and accept that you have no idea how you are creating your life the way it is, even though you now know that somehow you are, and then became really curious to find out exactly HOW you are…you will figure it out!  You will gain control of your life!

In your new curiosity, if you start to pay attention to what you believe, what is important to you, what you are focusing your attention on, and what meaning you are placing on things, then you will begin to see the direct correlation to what is showing up in your life and the beliefs, thoughts, meanings, and focus that you need to change in order to transform your life. 

Here’s the key…it won’t happen by itself! You must be willing to do the work!  You must pay attention everyday to what you are focusing on, what you believe and thus, what you are creating.  The good news is, just by having this awareness, and noticing what doesn’t serve you, you will automatically stop doing it! You just can’t do something you know isn’t working for you once you are aware of it! You can only do something that doesn’t serve you if you do it unconsciously.

This month, look at what is not working in your life, then learn to be aware of what you are focusing on and you will access a power that will dissolve obstacles, so you can begin creating a life you want and deserve.

What’s Your “Success Thermostat” Set At?

If you have big goals and dreams and want to achieve them – easier and faster – then, you may need to assess and consider resetting your mental “success thermostat.”

Here’s what I mean …

Picture an air conditioner thermostat that’s set at 75 degrees. When the room temperature reaches 76 or higher, the thermostat kicks on the AC – cooling the room back down to 75.

Inside your mind, you’ve got a similar thermostat. Because of preconceived notions or past experiences, it may be set for a certain level of success. And when that level is exceeded, your mental thermostat finds a way to bring you back to the original setting.

I remember in my late 20’s, and early 30’s, I had a mental thermostat of $25,000.00 to $30,000.00 a year.  That was all I believed I could achieve. Of course, as a result, the job I got paid me right in that range! 

Then, as I got older, my self-perceived value increased as a result of my added education and experience to $40,000.00-$45,000.00 a year.  Once again, the job and salary I got reflected that!  And it was the same job-just a different location! 

This goes for success in any area of your life.  For example, have you ever lost weight, only to gain it all back?

That may have been due to your success thermostat. It was set at a certain weight. When you lost the weight through diet and/or exercise, it registered the loss and did what was necessary to kick things back up to its original setting.

Ultimately, your success thermostat is responsible for how much success you can handle in any given area of your life.

In both of these examples, the thermostat is the beliefs and self-image that made you decide what was possible for you, your “deserved” income level or weight to begin with.

Have you ever felt like you can’t break through to the next level of success … whether it’s increasing your income from $40,000 per year to $150,000 (or more) … or even simply taking the first step and researching what’s possible for you to do that would allow you to earn that kind of income? If so, more than likely, it’s your internal thermostat holding you back. As soon as it senses that you’re nearing the breakthrough point, it pulls you back.

This may come in the form of fear or anxiety, along with thoughts of self-doubt.

In order to set your thermostat to handle higher levels of success in any area of your life, you’ve got to start on the inside. You’ve got to explore the beliefs and emotions you have as they relate to whatever goal you’re trying to achieve.

Once you’ve identified how and why your thermostat was set to where it is now, then you can begin the work to reset it. And when you do, you can expect greater success faster – and with less effort.

Here’s a quick rundown on how to do that:

Step 1: Identify your underlying beliefs.

Let’s say your goal is to double your income. But no matter how hard you’ve tried, you can’t seem to break through. Take a moment and think about what you believe about money. For example, do you believe things like, “Money is hard to come by,” or even “Money is evil”? One client I had felt guilty about earning more than his father did, keeping his inner thermostat stuck at the income level of his father.  Another client did not believe she had what it took to be successful on her own, so whenever she tried a new business, it would fail and she’d have to go back to work for someone else. 

Whatever your limiting belief is, by trying to earn more, you’re working against yourself, because of your belief system around money. 

Make a list of those beliefs that you feel are creating an obstacle to your goal.

Step 2: Identify the emotions attached to your beliefs.

If your beliefs aren’t in line with what you want to accomplish, then chances are your emotions aren’t either.

As you review the beliefs you identified in Step 1, notice how you feel about them. Does the thought of having a lot of money make you feel guilty? Do you feel embarrassed or uncomfortable asking people for money when you’re owed?  Do you believe that people who have a certain level of income “crooks” or selfish?

Make a list of all the emotions that are working against you.

Step 3: Change those beliefs and emotions you’ve identified.

You want to change the beliefs and emotions you identified in Steps 1 and 2 by replacing them with empowering beliefs that support the achievement of your goal. In a sense, this is how you “reset” your internal success thermostat. You’re programming your mind with new beliefs that allow you to handle more success, more responsibility, more abundance, and, ultimately, more of the things you want.

To let go of your old beliefs and emotions, you’ll have to convince yourself of their faulty logic. Realize that they don’t serve you. Then replace them with what you want via affirmations or other positive change methods like visualization.

This process will also help you change your self-image from that of who you are now, to the person you want to become. This is important. Because once you’ve cemented the belief that you are the successful person that you want to be, success will come almost automatically. You’ll find yourself doing the things that naturally bring your goals and dreams toward you.

I’ve reset my success thermostat and am attracting amazing people, circumstances and opportunities for generating a much larger income than I have ever before believed possible. 

These three steps will help you reset your success thermostat. And when you do, expect great things to start happening!

Spreading Joy

 

I recently took advantage of Disney’s offer to anyone who wants to come to Disney free on their birthday in 2009.  For me, as “goofy”as it sounds, it was a magical day.  I was reminded of our energetic connections to one another presently and throughout history.  When I went on Spaceship Earth, a ride depicting our planetary advances throughout history and how relatively quickly we have evolved, I was reminded of how connected we are to our ancestors and our future.   Things started out pretty slow in the beginning (pre-historic times), but as time went on the advances made by society began to speed up and today, technological advances are taking place at a faster pace than ever before.  We learn, grow and evolve because of those who went before us and paved the way, just as we are paving the way for those who will come after us.  

Those brave individuals who have paved the way and continue to do so are the pioneers-the people who had a vision, were big thinkers and were not afraid to pursue their passions no matter what other people thought of them.  Before the 20^th Century, they used the Law of Attraction without knowing about it!  Their energy and enthusiasm spread to others who then created something better and like dominos, new and improved ideas started showing up in our reality.  Around the 20^th century, more people began to understand the science of how our mindset (Our thoughts, desires, faith, etc…) can help us attain our goals.      

Today, we are recognizing the power of our mindset, back with the power of our emotions in creating an energy that gets transmitted out to the world.  When we talk about being all one, the matrix or the quantum field, we are talking about how we are all connected in this way.  When we dare to be ourselves and share our gifts with the world, the passion, emotion and energy that goes out into the world benefits everyone in all kinds of amazing ways.  When we do what gives us joy, we give joy to others.  When we do what gives us joy, we also get our creative juices going.  When we get our creative juices going it is a contagious kind of energy that travels to people all around us, to those who will take what we’ve created and take it a step further and to all those yet to be born.  Energy channeled in the right way creates amazing successes for all.  It’s a great and interesting web we weave!

Sharing who we are and giving our best to others feels good.  It is the easiest way to spread a wave of good energy.  Just sharing a smile with someone might brighten their day and set off a chain of happy events for that person that day.  I can tell you that being wished a happy birthday from so many people in one day at Epcot Center was so much fun because I knew the people giving me the birthday wish enjoyed it as much as I did.  I had fun wishing Happy Birthday to all the other people at the park who shared my birthday as well (we all had birthday buttons on with our name on them). 

We are all truly connected.  When we give our joy, our gifts, our creativity to others, we give them the best gift we can give them and you will never know the true impact of that gift-it could literally go on forever.